Thursday, November 6, 2008

Scaredy Cat

I am paranoid. Well, maybe not paranoid because this is actually happening. So, petrified then?

Last night, while sitting on the couch watching television, BD and I heard a strange noise.

Playette was in bed and she was O-U-T so we knew it couldn't be her.

It happened again.

And again.

The feral cat (that we can't stand and the next door neighbor feeds) perhaps?


BD went into the office, the approximate area where the noises were coming from, and flipped on the porch light.


I am so done. I feel like I will never be able to leave the house in the dark again. There were at least 5 of them out there. A gang. Did I mention that they're fearless? The porch light was only a minor irritant. Seeing BD hulk over them on the other side of the glass did nothing to push them towards vacating the premises. It was like they were moon bathing.

BD stood and watched them for a while, providing commentary ("Oh, there's another one!") while I cowered on the living room couch with a blanket pulled up to my neck for "protection."

Frankly, I am not exactly out for living in an environment where I am expected to share my home in such a way.

After a while, BD joined me again, but left the lights on. Slowly, the crew made their way towards the front of the house. I know this because we could hear their big selves moving through the gate ("Now they're going down the steps!"). Ick.

I couldn't sleep, thinking about them getting in the house somehow. Irrational, I know, but still. Could they get in through the fireplace? [BD says no, but those suckas are smart, right?!] Could they open a door with their tiny fingers and opposable thumbs?

Out of curiosity, we conducted an internet search to see what people do when they are being overrun stalked harassed visited by these beautiful creatures. The answers were surprising. They ranged from "do nothing" to...well, let's just say "something a bit more extreme" and perhaps noisy.

This morning, as I was getting ready to put Playette in her carseat, I, all of the sudden, got nervous, thinking that maybe one of those raccoons had got into the garage somehow. No way was I going to let it jump out from under the car at me and pin me up against the well. Nah, I would outsmart it. I went to the driver's side, where there was more room, crawled in the back seat, closed the door, and strapped Playette in that way. Sure it took way longer and I surely looked foolish, but I was safe from being mauled and that's what matters, right?

As much as I'm afraid of waking up and staring a raccoon right in his beady little eyes, I'm just about as afraid of tomorrow morning's Bronchoscopy. I have developed a cold over the last day and I'm nervous about taking any medication for fear that it will cause a bad reaction with the anesthesia. I admit that I'm being a big baby about that.

The raccoon thing though? Totally justified.


Joe said...

Don't feel bad, this summer I was building my daughter a swing set in the backyard, me and a couple of buddies drinking beer listening to music the kids were playing and trying to help when all the sudden, my wife lets out a scream and say the words I never want to hear SNAKE. I turn around and there is a 6' snake moving toward me and my friends. I grab my daughter and my wife and tell them to go inside. My buddy, thank goodness grabbed a hoe and hit it. It stopped moving but I was not happy until the head was seperated from the body. If this had been the first time I would be OK but this was the third snake I have killed, not to mention the snake skins I have found in my garage or basement. I live in the suburbs in a neighborhood not the country. Long story short, house for sale cheap ;-).

Shawndi84 said...

Oh man, those things are mean!! We used to have Possum's at our back door in Texas all the time.. they are MEAN!!
Good Luck tomorrow! You'll do fine!

Shawndi84 said...

OH WAIT! It's today... this morning! Not tomorrow!

Peaches323 said...

I feel your pain. We have a family of something making a home in our roof. All I hear is them running back and forth and scratching at the walls. Last night, my bedroom light started moving and all I could think about was me waking up with some rabbid creature in my bed. Picture that episode of Marting when they went on the vacation from the cereal box. Needless to say I got no sleep and we called someone to come check it out. They said it's probably mice but I ain't heard no mice sound like that before. And I live in the city. No one is safe!!!