Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Nice Girl

I like to spend time on a particular social networking site. Generally, I'm a pretty social person and I love how I am able to connect with people pretty easily that I might not have been able to stay in contact with via other means.

Just the other night, I told BD about how excited I was to come across this one person's page. He feigned interest while I told him about how she was the kind of person I would have liked to have been when we were in college. Pretty. Athletic. Tough, yet feminine. Everyone liked her. It was common knowledge that she was very into church and, instead of being mocked, she was respected.

At that time of my life, I wasn't thinking about religion. It wasn't until years later that I would become what many would call "religious." I'm talking church several times a week, bible study, tithing and then some, no dating kind of "religious." Of course, I didn't call it that, but that's the common term so I'll use it here.

Several events took me off-track from that path once I was married. I think the last time that I went to church was 2 days before Playette was born. To be honest, my faith was shook. I was angry for doing what I perceived were all the right things only to have this "happen" to me. I thought that I had earned my Happily Ever After.

I say all that why? Well, I think it's important that you know what kind of person I am as I move back into telling you about this other young woman, the one I admired so much years ago. She was one of those people that seemed to bathe in good fortune. I remember when she had her 15 minutes of fame years ago when she participated in a television contest. I voted for her. Though she didn't win the top prize, she did end up receiving what most would consider a dream wedding.

So, as I sat and watched the election coverage last night and browsed the internet simultaneously, I read something disturbing that this young woman, the quintessential nice girl (NG), had written. Apparently, one of our mutual friends rooted for her chosen candidate publicly and NG left her a message attacking the character of this candidate.

It wasn't a disagreement on politics. That I wouldn't have a problem with. I'm all for intelligent debate. But this was callous, bigoted, and misinformed.

I was at a temporary loss of words. This was not the person I thought I knew.

Please. It's not about who you prefer. I don't give a damn. Seriously. I have views that I keep private and those that I share. This was different. When did people start forgetting what democracy means? Someone has to win. It's not always going to be who you prefer. This should be nothing new to any adult.

What scares me is the hate speech.

I wrote back to NG and let her know that I read what she wrote. By the way, she's still very open about her Christianity, in case that matters.

Later on, I noticed that she deleted her message on that friend's page. I, in turn, erased the one I left since it would now appear irrelevant and it wasn't about embarrassing her. I knew she had read it.

This morning, I saw the following on my page:

Although I did not support Obama, it is amazing that in 150 years we have gone from a country that wrongfully enslaved blacks, to providing equal rights to all, and now to having a black serve in the White House. God bless America!

It was duplicated, verbatim, on her own and that of the friend to whom she had made the original comment.

There are a few things about that statement that sadden me deeply.

It hurts to know that even the Nice Girl can say such hurtful things. What about the people that aren't so outwardly kind the majority of the time? Do I even want to know what they think?

I honestly don't mean to be naive and I'm not looking for validation. This blog is primarily for and about my daughter, not about topics like this. But I do also acknowledge this as my place...a place to work out my thoughts and try to make sense of the world.

And also, I guess if I really wanted to bring it full circle? I take offense to "blacks" in the same way that I do "Down's [sic] syndrome kids."

Please have the decency to at least fit the word "person" in there somewhere. It's very revealing if you don't.


sheree said...

I SO know what you mean with this entire post. I have been seeing this a lot just TODAY and frankly, I am appauled.

People I thought I respected for various different reasons are showing a new side that I never knew they posessed and it's sickening.

And when I read that statement you quoted from the "nice girl" I cringed at the word "blacks." Gross. It still shocks me, but I suppose it shouldn't. A lot of times, people are not who you expect them to be. :(

Lisa said...

(((Chrystal))) I can't sit here and claim to have been the object of prejudice before, although I'm starting to get a taste of how callous and prejudice people can be now that I have Finn. It completely bites when someone we thought highly of lets us down and shows us what they're really made of. I'm so sorry that this person hurt you and disappointed you.

ks_kristi said...

Great post, you did great. You motivated me to stick my neck out and post my thoughts on my blog. Hope I made since.

Michelle said...

When I read "a black to serve in the white house" I thought, hmm, did she forget to write 'person' or something?!