But Wait, There's More

First, let me thank you all for your comments and support. If anything can make a crappy situation a little better, it's knowing that you have an army of peeps behind you.

**insert sanity break to Google images of fighting marshmallow chicks here**

Ok, I'm back.

In all seriousness, I am very grateful. I know for a fact that BD and I were not the only ones mulling over Friday's situation ad nauseum this past weekend. So many people wish the best for us and our little girl and knowing that you're out there makes such a difference.

All that said, you'll dig this.

Playette usually gets picked up at about 10:45 am.

At 9:15 this morning, the phone rang.

It was her bus driver.

I think my eyes rolled out of my head.

She started out by telling me that they wouldn't be able to pick up Playette anymore.

Wow! She's calling to tell me that she got fired! Bless those other parents that complained, and rightly so. Here I am thinking-thinking and they took immediate action. Good on...

"Yeah, we're not allowed to drive the bus in your neighborhood."

...them.

Wait. What?

"Someone complained about the bus coming into your neighborhood, so now you need to bring her to the main road to get picked up."

They can't be serious.

Instead of just about anything else I could have said, I heard myself ask, "So, just when do you expect to pick her up, exactly? On that main road?"

The reason I asked is because, well, I kinda never know when they're going to show up. It could be 10:30, maybe 11:05. Good thing we can stay inside, out of the elements, while we wait.

Oh. Not anymore, huh?

So, the SUPER MEGA ironic thing that hit me is that they are now trying to make me work harder for piss-poor service.

Hm.

Interesting.

This set into motion a chain of events that basically told the school, the transportation department, and my neighborhood to go eff themselves. They won't have me or my kid to mess around with anymore.

But, while that feels right, it also leaves me feeling like it's not enough.

I want someone to suffer.

For their incompetence, for their ineptitude, for their ridiculous lack of overall professionalism and common decency, someone should be made to look like the asses they're all behaving like.

Taking our bat and ball and moving to another field seems somewhat wimpy.

But don't get me wrong, what works for us is what works for us right now. And I'll surely find a way to get up on my soapbox. Trust.

There's just something about picking your battles.

How much time and energy do you choose to invest in each situation?

It truly has to happen before you can know.

I do want to say this though...

Bless the afternoon driver who was all, "No one told me not to drive in here. I'm bringing this baby right to her door!"

and

Bless my landlord, the complete antithesis to our former wack-a-loon in CA, who called me tonight all riled up and ready to defend our rights to her homeowner's association. She could not (unnecessarily) apologize enough and plans to embarrass them at the next meeting. She made me smile.

As do all of you.

This story isn't over.

By a long shot.

I drove my daughter to school today.

My daughter that loves riding the bus so very, very much.

And I'll keep doing it, ensuring that she never has to be tainted by those people ever again.

I can't protect her from everyone, but, dammit, that won't keep me from trying.

Also

You know what makes me even sadder about this situation?

It's that we can fix it.

With money.

Money to pay for my daughter to go to a place that will not only respect her, but also us, as parents.

Everyone doesn't have that option.

And it's not right.

Or fair.

Or decent.

Go ahead and tell me I'm too sensitive.

That I need a thicker skin.

I dare you.

Recap

Ok, so I've had several requests to provide my perspective on last night's Private Practice episode.

First, let me say that, much like when I watch Army Wives, I wish they would have had a(n) (more influential?) advisor. I can't help but wonder if the actors that have Ds ever venture to say, "But I don't only play with stuffed animals and/or want to read nursery rhymes. I'm an adult!"

And it may be very wrong of me to to even have that thought. I mean, how long did Black actors accept roles that may have been considered demeaning (see: first version of Imitation of Life) just so they could practice their craft, do what they love?

So, yeah, I get that some people with Ds in entertainment is better than no people with Ds in entertainment. There are people that work very hard to help provide opportunities for our peeps to be included in movies, television, and even things like Target ads. I would be remiss if I didn't say how much I appreciate being able to see people that look like my child in the media.

I also realize that I'm the parent of a three-year-old. I have one child and she happens to have Ds. I don't know much in the grand scheme of things. I know what I want and what I don't want for my daughter based on what I know TODAY, at this point in her life. And that's all. I also recognize that all of my expectations aren't necessarily fair to her. I can't expect her to be something she's not and I fear that I do project my desires for her future self on her preschool self. That's sorta related and a whole 'nother ball of wax, all at the same time.

Alright, I know the people that asked what I thought about Private Practice weren't asking for all of that, but it needed to be said. I can't fully elaborate the full picture of what goes on in my brain, but I felt a preface was necessary in the hopes that knowing something of where I'm coming from will help anyone who reads about where this episode took me.

Plus, this is way awkward because I'm totally putting myself out there on a controversial topic and I know not everyone will agree.

It just happened that I woke up an hour early this morning so I decided to watch before Playette woke up, so it's nice and fresh on my mind.

*sigh*

So the premise was that a mother brought her teenage daughter in to see the doctor because she feared she might be pregnant. Her daughter would usually play in her room, talking to her stuffed animals, but this one time the mother found the noises to actually be due to the daughter having sex with her boyfriend. The daughter has Down syndrome and the boyfriend (played by a Not Currently Diagnosed actor) has different learning disabilities. The daughter has been complaining of stomach pain recently so they check her out via ultrasound. She's pregnant. 11 weeks. The doctors and the mom all look stricken. The daughter doesn't know what's going on.

Now comes the discussions about options. The female doctor is said to be "very Catholic" and seems to be wishing to sway the mother into taking the chance on having the "child she never had." The mom is all, "I had to give up my entire life to care for my child and I don't want to take the chance of that happening again" and, well, my eyes rolled because that's not my life. I haven't given up my life in the slightest. But, as I told a friend yesterday, maybe I'm just selfish parent.

So, unfair eyeroll? Perhaps.

The female doctors is all, "It might not be that way this time! Hold out hope for a "perfect" child! 50% chance of no Ds!"

See, this is what I mean. I have a very cynical outlook. Noted.

The male doctor, the female doctor's ex-husband (or maybe they're still married? I really don't know. He's dating her best friend, so they're not together), is all, "You need to back off and stop trying to push your 'keep the baby' stance because it's not like when our teenage daughter had a baby (I didn't catch if the couple were supposed to be teens or not) because these parents would need help all the time. Besides, what happens when the mom dies?"

The mom, by the way, is said to have Power of Attorney so if she decides that her daughter will have an abortion, it shall be done.

I'm no lawyer, but really? Is that how it works? I mean, I've seen people under 18 have babies and their parents are their legal guardians and all, but they still can't legally force their children to have abortions. Why would this be so different? Does the person with Ds no longer have a legal right to what happens to their own body? Hm. Please, someone tell me that this was just some ridiculous level of creative license.

I appreciated the fact that they seemed to explore the different sides. They talked about how the couple felt (when told at the CVS appointment, after it was done, what it was for - they were excited and wanted the baby), the mother's reaction (she was scared of what this would all mean for everyone involved and agreed to the CVS so that they could know if the baby had Ds or not)...

Wait. No one was concerned about the run-of-the-mill, not described learning disabilities of the father? They seemed very focused on Ds and that bothered me. I know I'm sensitive (and jaded), but it just seemed to perpetuate the idea that if your baby doesn't have Ds, that everything is right with the world.

*sigh and eye roll*

I know by this point that I may be missing something that I wanted to be sure not to forget.

And I know it's just TV and, really, I'm not all riled up and wanting to boycott the show. Not at all. I'm just sharing and in a typing it all out mood, I guess.

Ok, back to the different sides...

There was the male doctor who wanted to keep it all professional and emotion-free. Whatever the mom said is what went. And then the female doctor, whose opinion I've already noted.

I remember at one point the male doctor saying to the female doctor, regarding the CVS, that if the baby does have Ds and there's an abortion that she'll be unhappy because of eugenics and if the baby doesn't have Ds and there's an abortion that she'll be unhappy because she's Catholic.

I'm glad they mentioned eugenics.

So, anyway, the results come back and HOORAY! THE BABY DOESN'T HAVE DS!! OMGZ! PARTY TIME!

(I'm telling this out of order, but still...)

I think my eyes rolled out of my head and across the room at that point.

Female doctor tries and tries to reach the mom to no avail. She then asks the male doctor to come with her to deliver the news in person. He obliges.

But, the mom had already determined that it didn't matter anyway. Her daughter would not be having that baby. They had been unreachable because she had taken her daughter to have an abortion that morning. It was not 100% clear to me, but I'm pretty sure the daughter was sedated and, also, didn't know what was going on.

Again.

Oh, this makes me sooo emotional. Sad? Angry? Defeated? Irritated? All of that?

Like I said earlier, I am not in that mom's position. I've got a ways to go before I even have to begin fighting the battle of hormones and dealing with tough topics. But, damn. It hit me. Right. There.

So this is my life, huh?

But...

It's not today.

And I can't borrow trouble.

(Right, Dub?)

Jack's Big Music Show is on.

I'll go watch that with my baby.

Hotline

Timothy Schriver must have a dedicated red phone for this stuff by now.

Good grief.

You know, I try to refrain from political conversations on this blog for a few reasons. One is because the division of the Ds community does none of us any good. I've seen good people get hurt by daring to disagree with a portion of their readers. [Why attack someone for that?] Also, one of the few lessons I retain from my upbringing is that I shouldn't talk about politics in mixed company (along with salary and a couple of other things). People have reasons for believing what they believe and I respect that.

I'm saying though.

I posted about this.

And about this.

So it's only fair that I'm posting about this.

Why aren't her supporters expressing their disappointment? I know that the Ds community is fraught with people that connect with her via her son Trig, who happens to have Ds, and flat-out adore her, but I haven't seen one post today that says, "Wow, she really let us down here," or even a simple "I don't agree."

I wouldn't expect you to stop loving her, if that's the way you swing, but a little acknowledgement might go a long way. It would with me at least.

So I'll say it.

I'm appalled. Disappointed just doesn't cut it.

We're in the midst of a movement. People are listening. People are watching. No one, not even a person who's supposed to be on your team (whether that means the same political party or the same diagnosis), is supposed to get a pass for doing or saying something that contradicts the forward progress of the collective.

This is about our children. And the way that everyone treats them.

It's not ok.

Or am I missing something?

I mean, this was satire, too, right?

Never Go Full Retard - Tropic Thunder- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

Blame It

Do you know who Jamie Foxx is? If not, or if you're really angry at him because of his comments about Miley, feel free to bypass this post.

If you're still reading...

You may have heard his name at least once since he won an Oscar for his lead role in Ray. But if you're not a fan of Hip-Hop(ish)/R&B, then you may not realize that he's also a singer and a musician and a comedian.

He also has a sister with Ds. Her name is Diondra.

I learned this fact back during the Tropic Thunder debate last year. I read how some people were shocked that he would attend the premiere, regardless of his friends being in the movie. Admittedly, my first reaction was also disappointment since here I was with Playette and I had followed Jamie's career for so long. Even when I first saw the preview for his new movie, The Soloist, I had the thought of, "How could he be in a movie with Robert Downey Jr.? The person who uttered the lines that everyone found most offensive?"

Well, I don't know what types of conversations have transpired between those two men. I'll probably never know. But I can't help but think that Jamie loves his sister. I mean, even since then, I've come to understand what point the people behind Tropic Thunder may have been trying to make. It doesn't make me like the idea of immature people going around quoting the movie and possibly hurting a lot of people though. I'm not ok with that at all. All I'm saying is that time has opened my eyes a little more. I've watched shows like "How's Your News?" and enjoyed them. Like, really enjoyed them. I've watched the Perry brothers' "The Trouble with Syndromes" and laughed out loud (and then felt guilty, but then let myself off the hook). Honestly, I call this thing I'm going through a "journey' because it is. I am so far from where I'm going to end up. I'm sure of that. And the reason I'm so sure is because I can't even begin to see my daughter as disabled. She's behind her peers, sure, but I can't imagine her as an adult who is going to face umpteen challenges. I can't picture her as being a "defective instrument." (more on that later)

Granted that stuff I just mentioned is not for everyone, but I can appreciate what they're trying to do.

This post should not be mistaken for a glorification of crude humor or Jamie Foxx in particular. He's just a man. A man who makes a lot of money...and, of course, mistakes. I'm simply fascinated with all things Ds and he crossed my radar today. And, shoot me, I like "Blame It".

So, anyway, Diondra is in his latest video. I caught her dancing around the 2:25 mark and beyond and then at the very end, he can be seen pointing to her and saying what looks to be, "That's my sister."

My friend, Jocelyn, fresh new mama to Baby Dylan, informed me that Jamie is on the Tyra Banks show today and he mentions his sister in the interview. I'll have to set the TiVo to see that.

And at mark 5:07, he thanks her in his Oscar acceptance speech.

So, um, yeah, that's it.

Today's the Day!

My personal reasons why I find this hurtful.


You can take the pledge here.

Groan. Ack. Why?

After yesterday's dialogue, I was feeling really good about how so many of us could present different perspectives on a topic in which we have a huge vested interest and still be able to come together for the greater good of supporting our children. I was thinking that the world may be no match for the force of the Ds community. We've got a lot of power. Together we could educate the masses!

And then, POOF. Last night happened.

I am so disappointed with our President right now. I know he's human and I know that people make mistakes. But what settled with me last night as I read articles, watched clips of Leno's show, and digested reactions found all over the Internet is that sometimes even intelligent, well-liked, powerful people still inherently believe that it's ok to "mock themselves" at the expense of those that are developmentally disabled.

Special Olympics' Response

Related article

Another Article

What President Obama said last night is not unlike using the "r word." Likening his bowling to that of a Special Olympics athlete may be good for a giggle for most people, but think about it. He's not just making fun of himself. He's making fun of Special Olympics athletes. Assuming that they're somehow less-than and that being unskilled at something makes him like them. And that's a cheap shot. It's an easy joke to make.

Unfortunately, it's one that most people are ok with. Because really, who's complaining? Just us folks with a huge vested interest in making this world a more tolerant place so that we don't have to wonder about taking away the characteristics our kids were born with simply so that they won't suffer from unwarranted discrimination.

I think President Obama is a great guy from what I know of him. I don't think he's evil. Just like I don't think that all people who use the "r word" are evil.

In the interest of educating, I'm sharing this letter (italicized below). It was written by a member of my local Ds list-serve and it was offered up as a template for those of us who felt inclined to let the White House know that we are not ok with what was said last night.

Click Here to Contact the White House

Feel free to cut and paste as you like. The more people who write, the better so that our voice will be heard.

Dear President Obama,

This is regarding your comment about Special Olympics on the Late Show with Jay Leno. I am asking that you make amends for that unfortunate comment with your actions -- by increasing the funding for Down syndrome research.

Due to recent breakthroughs in genetics and Down syndrome research at facilities such as Stanford University, a treatment appears imminent. If individuals with Down syndrome can live more independent lives, the government could save much of the 6 billion dollars spent annually for people with Down syndrome, and these people could become tax-paying citizens. The long-term benefit to our society is huge. The initial, up-front cost of the research could, in the end, save taxpayer dollars.

For the majority of people with Down syndrome, a mere 10-20% improvement in cognition could mean that they would live independent lives and support themselves financially. This research could also help people with other developmental disabilities.

People with Down syndrome are living longer lives, many into their 70s, but nearly all will develop Alzheimer like symptoms by the time they are in their 40s. A link has been made between a gene associated with Down syndrome cognitive issues and the cognitive issues associated with Alzheimer?s disease. The research being developed for Down syndrome has the potential to delay the onset of Alzheimer?s, not only in people with Down syndrome, but in the general population as well.

I think Dr. Mobley, a Stanford research, said it best when he said, "During times of tight budgets, it may be tempting to de-emphasize research. And yet, research - particularly medical research - is the best investment we can make in health care for our country. If we are concerned about cutting future health care costs, we must look for ways to prevent those costs from occurring."

Thank you for your time. I know how valuable it is.

===

And some more good info posted by a member of that same list-serve that helps to put it all in perspective:

To those of you who will respond -- it is also interesting to note decreased DS research funding by the NIH:

"Federal funding for DS research from the NIH has decreased over the past decade and is currently at $42 per capita. It is significantly underfunded compared to other conditions on a per capita basis:

Cystic Fibrosis: $3000 per capita or 71 times DS funding per capita

Huntington's: $1700 per capita or 40 times DS

Fragile X: $1529 per capita or 36 times DS

ALS: $1433 per capita or 34 times DS

Multiple Sclerosis: $422 per capita or 10 times DS

Parkinson's: $101 per capita or 2.5 times DS

===

I wholeheartedly agree with those that state that this is a teachable moment that we can't let pass us by. Let this be an opportunity to share with the masses the truth about those with developmental disabilities and dispel the stereotypes. President Obama is very popular. A lot of people adore him. Shoot, there were inaugural balls in my small town over 3000 miles away from DC! Imagine the possible impact if he were to make a statement, take some action, share his own enlightenment.

At a minimum, I want to see a Special Olympics Athlete whoop up on BO in a highly competitive bowling match.

Article on Prenatal Testing

New Safety, New Concerns In Tests for Down Syndrome

Thanks for letting me know about this, Crystal.

Choosing Naia: A Review

This has been difficult for me to sit down and write. I've had it in a draft form for at least a week now.

It's not the book. Not the topic so much either. It's the timing.

I didn't have a prenatal diagnosis with Playette. Suspicions of her having an extra chromosome first came the morning after she was born. It was a shock to say the least, but, looking back, I'm grateful that was one thing I didn't have to be concerned about during my pregnancy. I asked about Ds throughout, but I was always "poo-poo'd" with the "You're too young to worry about something like that" talk.

Since having my daughter, I've met many people who received their child's diagnosis via prenatal testing. I did not participate in any prenatal testing past an initial blood test at my first prenantal appointment.

All I've ever learned about the topic of prenatal diagnoses, I've learned from others on message boards or phone calls. It's not my own story to tell.

Choosing Naia is a very good example of two parents telling their own story. It's done via a journalist who followed their journey, first through newspaper articles and then expanded into a heavily-researched, very thorough, full-length book.

First off, I liked the book. I really did. The edition I read has a photo on the front cover of the parents with Naia, celebrating her first birthday. So, honestly? I knew how it ended. There was a choice to be made and they, well, chose Naia. Regardless of knowing how it all ended, I didn't feel spoiled in the least.


The story begins around the time that they receive their "poor" prenatal testing results and ends when Naia is about 3 years old. It's engaging, educational, emotional, resourceful...pretty entertaining (for lack of a better word) for what comes across as non-fiction. Of course I'm sure my appreciation is greater given the circumstances of my life, but I'd like to think that it's just a good book. Period.

I received the book from Lisa, a fellow blogging mama with whom I enjoy sharing ideas, thoughts, and even literature. She first posted about the book back in December. I looked at that post last week and noticed my response in her comments section. I thought it was interesting enough to post here in part:

I understand what you're saying about being glad you (we) weren't presented with having to make a choice. I like to think that for parents of a child with Ds, whenever they found out is what was right for them. I say that because those I know who received a prenatal diagnosis say that they were glad for it so that they could research beforehand. I know me though and I would have been doing more moping than learning. Thank goodness everyone's not like me.

Looking back at that statement now, after having read the book, is interesting. Personally, I don't see the benefit of a prenatal diagnosis. There's only so much "research" you can do. I think the analyzing/depression/seeing your child as a diagnosis only far outweigh any benefit that could be incurred by contacting your local Early Intervention program in advance. I understand that parents can gain acceptance and be able to welcome their child differently, possibly more positively, having had plenty of time for the news of the diagnosis to settle. I get it. I really do.

But I also see that prenatal diagnoses lead to a 90% termination rate. So most parents are not "researching." They're moving on.

And as the parent of a child with Ds, that makes me uneasy. Uncomfortable. Sick to my stomach.

People don't want babies like mine.

Lisa posted about this after she finished the book.

My comment on that post:

I wonder the same thing...about what people around me have chosen to terminate after a prenatal diagnosis. 90% is a lot! They have to be around me somewhere, right?

I also don't sit well with the notion that folks who choose to terminate have a baby "that died." No. It's not the same. I've seen mothers who know their child is sick or won't survive birth and they continue to delivery, sometimes at full term. The former parents have no right to compare their journey to that of the latter parents. If you choose to terminate, so be it, but don't act like it was natural causes. That just fires me up because it's so dishonest and unfair.

You ever seen one of those "TMR" [Termination for Medical Reasons] forums? If you can handle it, you'll see women patting each other on the back and supporting one another through the "loss" of their children with Ds. It's terrible. If you're going to do it, own up. Don't act like a martyr.

Ugh. Now I'm mad.

It's not a pro-choice/pro-life debate. Really, it's not. Please don't confuse my transparency with my policial views.

It's about how I feel. A lot. And it's even more relevant now than ever. I've got all kinds of things going through my head these days. It has to do with friendships and support and how to be appropriately congratulatory when someone to whom you've offered both friendship and support receives the "good" news that their child won't turn out like yours.

To be continued...

Things I Loved

I've been home today, resting and recovering from a long weekend. I was also supposed to have an appointment with my doctor, but that was postponed at the last minute. With that in mind, I've spent a considerable portion of my day following the Inauguration events.

In the effort to acknowledge the occasion in a personal way, here are some favorite items/moments:

• Seeing so many different people, from all over the world, assembled in my hometown for their own personal reasons.


• Witnessing the emotions that were being expressed by so many in that crowd...with the occasional single tear.


• Aretha's hat.


• Thousands of flags waving on the National Mall.


• The "Welcome, Malia and Sasha!" banner. And their adorable outfits.


• Malia's digital camera. Screw, AP. She's making her own memories.


• Dr. Biden's boots.


• The last 30 seconds of the Benediction.


• I've seen a lot of parades, but never one that took place in the dark.


• This photo:
  
  

So, regardless of how you voted, I hope you, too, were able to find something to appreciate about this day. The historical significance of President Obama's inauguration cannot be questioned and it means a lot to a lot of people. In some cases, more than most of us will ever know.

Seriously. Is it Friday yet?

Teeny disclaimer: This is from last Friday. I started writing it and then had to stop for some reason that I can't recall. I'm not as irritated as I was then, but the info is still somewhat relevant, so I'm posting it. Let the rant begin.

Today is finally Friday, right? RIGHT?!

You know what keeps coming to mind and making me chuckle every time? Brace yourself: it's not comedian funny, more like "WHA?" funny.

We got this letter in the mail a month or so ago. In it, it tells us how we are now responsible for paying for things that the Regional Center* used to take care of in full. Granted, it's a portion. A percentage. And I still am not completely sure why they do the things they do do, yet lack so much in areas that truly matter like frackin' therapy.

[*CA is broken into 21 regions that each provide services to people with developmental disabilities, some better than others.]

Ahem.

So, you know, I believe in the whole "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" thing. I've accepted the benefits of things like respite and been happier for it. I mean, do I leave any doubt that I love Ms. J? I've even given California full credit for being good at things which they are good since I am so free to bash the things at which they suck. It's only fair, right?

Ok, so back to the letter. We read it. It said that come time for Playette's next IFSP, we'll be asked for our most recent tax info so that they could assess how much our contribution would be. Well, ok. I guess. I mean, if they gave us what we needed, I wouldn't be so protective of these wants I like so much, but ok. If Playette didn't have an extra chromosome, we wouldn't get anything. Mind you, I'd be 100% ok with that. Plus, I didn't have a differently-abled child for the "bennies." Trust me.

Apparently, this is what they do already with families of older children, but it's a new initiative for those of us with infants (0-3 years of age).

I put it aside and thought nothing else of it.

Until.

I got this weird paper in the mail. It was pink so I knew it was important. It meant that we were receiving some type of service. I look at it and it says "$2100"...$2100 for what?!

Well, apparently, the Regional Center is paying the school district $1050 per month (the paper was for 2 months?) to provide Playette with the federally mandated therapies she needs. Seriously? Again. Some more. Seriously? Trust me when I say that it's horrible. I dread those days that we meet with the Infant Program. I spend most of the time explaining what Playette can do (last time: "Really?! She's crawling? Since when?") and then telling the therapists what I've learned from the internet and other parents.

It's annoying to say the least. Where's the help in that?

You may wonder why we continue. Unfortunately, denying services just isn't an option we're comfortable with long term, so...

So I call the Service Coordinator (which I rarely ever do because it's always painful and never gets me anywhere) about the pink paper and confirm the reason for it since I had never seen one in the entire last year we've been in the program, then decide to ask about the whole "pay a portion" thing. Like, "What does that mean anyway?" You know, just in case we understood it wrong.

We didn't.

And then she proceeds to tell me that we don't have to wait until the next IFSP to start.

OMG, I'm still laughing.

Yeah, we'll get right on that.

The Nice Girl

I like to spend time on a particular social networking site. Generally, I'm a pretty social person and I love how I am able to connect with people pretty easily that I might not have been able to stay in contact with via other means.

Just the other night, I told BD about how excited I was to come across this one person's page. He feigned interest while I told him about how she was the kind of person I would have liked to have been when we were in college. Pretty. Athletic. Tough, yet feminine. Everyone liked her. It was common knowledge that she was very into church and, instead of being mocked, she was respected.

At that time of my life, I wasn't thinking about religion. It wasn't until years later that I would become what many would call "religious." I'm talking church several times a week, bible study, tithing and then some, no dating kind of "religious." Of course, I didn't call it that, but that's the common term so I'll use it here.

Several events took me off-track from that path once I was married. I think the last time that I went to church was 2 days before Playette was born. To be honest, my faith was shook. I was angry for doing what I perceived were all the right things only to have this "happen" to me. I thought that I had earned my Happily Ever After.

I say all that why? Well, I think it's important that you know what kind of person I am as I move back into telling you about this other young woman, the one I admired so much years ago. She was one of those people that seemed to bathe in good fortune. I remember when she had her 15 minutes of fame years ago when she participated in a television contest. I voted for her. Though she didn't win the top prize, she did end up receiving what most would consider a dream wedding.

So, as I sat and watched the election coverage last night and browsed the internet simultaneously, I read something disturbing that this young woman, the quintessential nice girl (NG), had written. Apparently, one of our mutual friends rooted for her chosen candidate publicly and NG left her a message attacking the character of this candidate.

It wasn't a disagreement on politics. That I wouldn't have a problem with. I'm all for intelligent debate. But this was callous, bigoted, and misinformed.

I was at a temporary loss of words. This was not the person I thought I knew.

Please. It's not about who you prefer. I don't give a damn. Seriously. I have views that I keep private and those that I share. This was different. When did people start forgetting what democracy means? Someone has to win. It's not always going to be who you prefer. This should be nothing new to any adult.

What scares me is the hate speech.

I wrote back to NG and let her know that I read what she wrote. By the way, she's still very open about her Christianity, in case that matters.

Later on, I noticed that she deleted her message on that friend's page. I, in turn, erased the one I left since it would now appear irrelevant and it wasn't about embarrassing her. I knew she had read it.

This morning, I saw the following on my page:

Although I did not support Obama, it is amazing that in 150 years we have gone from a country that wrongfully enslaved blacks, to providing equal rights to all, and now to having a black serve in the White House. God bless America!

It was duplicated, verbatim, on her own and that of the friend to whom she had made the original comment.

There are a few things about that statement that sadden me deeply.

It hurts to know that even the Nice Girl can say such hurtful things. What about the people that aren't so outwardly kind the majority of the time? Do I even want to know what they think?

I honestly don't mean to be naive and I'm not looking for validation. This blog is primarily for and about my daughter, not about topics like this. But I do also acknowledge this as my place...a place to work out my thoughts and try to make sense of the world.

And also, I guess if I really wanted to bring it full circle? I take offense to "blacks" in the same way that I do "Down's [sic] syndrome kids."

Please have the decency to at least fit the word "person" in there somewhere. It's very revealing if you don't.

You Can Vote However You Like

Yes, I've voted. [Since our "town" has less than 250 registered voters, I had to do it by mail. So Playette got an "I Voted" sticker and I didn't. Hmph.]

Anyway, I thought this video was (cute yes, but also) a great reminder of the upcoming election day. Yes, there are actually issues, not just personalities. And who better to explain them to us but 11 and 12 year-olds?

Look how they get along while stating their positions. I could wax poetic about "harmony" and "music" but I'm sure you get it. I hope.

You know what's scary? I heard on the radio the other day that in VA members of one party are passing out official-looking fliers telling members of the opposing party to vote on November 5th. I hope that doesn't keep people away from the polls.

Anyway, take a look in the case that you haven't seen it already.

The kids from Atlanta's Ron Clark Academy performing live "You Can Vote However You Like," a parody to TI's "Whatever You Like".



Lyrics:

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain is the man
Fought for us in Vietnam
You know if anyone can
Help our country he can
Taxes droppin low
Dont you know oils gonna flow
Drill it low
I'll show our economy will grow

McCain's the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They'll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama's new, he's younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He'll bring a change, he's got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq's a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won't
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won't!
Have enough experience - you know that they don't
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won't

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you're going to have some drama
We need it
HE'LL BRING IT
He'll be it
YOU'LL SEE IT
We'll do it
GET TO IT
Let's move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I'm talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN'T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Interview with the kids: