Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Reality Check

Somewhere along the way, I crossed the line into being the mom of an older child with Down syndrome. 

The thing is, I'm not sure when it happened. I mean, she's only six!

But, over time, I have realized that many mothers of younger children don't seem interested in my perspective anymore.

I thought I was still kinda cool, but no.

I saw it at the convention in Denver.

I see it in social media.

I felt it when I took Dez to the library for baby group today.

I was very happily surprised to see a mom there with a sweet little one-year-old with Down syndrome. I hadn't seen them there before. I plotted out how I would eventually make my way over to that side of the room, hoping to introduce myself before they left. I couldn't let them leave! What if they were new in town? What if she needed support? Aaaack! 

So, eventually, I followed through...confirmed that was, in fact, her child and then stepped out on the faith that I have mad Ds-recognition skillz.

"I also have a daughter with Down syndrome. She's six."

"Oh. Ok."

She said a little more, but I was already deflated. And reminded. I am old news. I know nothing about Early Intervention in this state. I can't help with preschool. A play date wouldn't be a good match because of the age gap. I bet there are a million fresh-faced bloggers out there who I don't even know about. 

They are whipper-snappers, forging new paths, creating bonds of which I am not a part. The fact that I just said "whipper-snappers" is pretty confirming. I'm pass√©.

They probably have their own secret handshake and wonder why we didn't make it happen when we had the chance. 

I'm starting to sound pathetic. And maybe a tad dramatic.

But still. I mean.

When did this threshold crossing happen? Was it kindergarten? And when will it occur again? Someone needs to warn me next time. 

Draw me a picture.

Can't you see I'm fragile?


CJ said...

Hence the reason we have pulled back from all things Ds. It will only become more pronounced the older she gets. Maybe connecting with same-age families would be a better fit. .. but we never pursued that, so I am no help to you. :(

Michelle said...

How do you think I feel, my kid is 10! Just so you don't think it's just you ... I've been feeling that way for a few years now too. Our kids aren't babies anymore. Babies get the attention. Babies are cute and squishy and you can hold them and they do baby-things. We're in the world of not-always-fun educational stuff.

Molly said...

Don't worry, I'll always love you! and appreciate your knowledge and cute kiddos. (I recognize I am not your demographic, but whateves, you're stuck with me)

Also, it's interesting because I find that a LOT of people have questions for the woman who writes at Confessions of the Chromsomally Enhanced, bc her older sis has DS and her mom has done some Q & A. So maybe the pendulum will swing back??

Becca said...

Girlfriend, you are *always* still cool!!!! This is an interesting post - I really hadn't thought much about it. Yikes, maybe I *should* be worrying, too! Ugh, now I'm depressed.

krlr said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
krlr said...

No, no, no - clearly the mom was in shock and too awed by the GIFT of your presence in the library that day to react. Right now she's home kicking herself for not immediately offering to buy you dinner & drinks. But don't be too hard on her - lots of people freeze up around the FAAMMOUSS. :)