We rode around today and visited some places that I hadn't been in years.
After spending some time with friends, we took a longer route home, crossing several state, county, and jurisdiction lines.
It was a beautiful day and we were in no rush.
I had to laugh at one point because we were admiring the trees filled with changing leaves...from inside the car with the windows rolled up and the air conditioning on.
We went past places where I've lived and used to frequent when I was much younger. I stopped to buy cookies of which I had been missing the taste for many years. (For those in the know, no, I didn't buy the bucket.)
Living this close to places where I have so many ties is still a new phenomenon.
And, I realize that I can't take this for granted.
We could be gone in a year. Maybe back across the country. Maybe in another continent. It's hard to know for sure at this point. We may not know until right before it happens. It's complicated.
No, really. It is. BD had to draw me a flow chart before I got it.
There will be hard decisions that will need to be made. Now that Playette is in school, we have different types of concerns.
How much are we willing to do to provide her with some consistency? Can we make a life here work? Where else could offer the kind of support we've found here and without the fighting? We all hate the fighting.
When I see my friends who have children with Ds and have no plans to ever move, I sometimes feel twinges of jealousy. They have a community with supports and people that know their children and those aspects have a low likelihood of changing significantly over time.
Or maybe there's family that lives close by and the children are raised alongside cousins, with regular gathering and built-in friendships.
Perhaps there is a waiting list for services for adults with disabilities and, while it is unfortunate those exist, they can put their child on now so that they can prepare for future needs.
I try not to worry. We had options and chose this life. And it's not bad, just different. Unique to what many experience. I've enjoyed seeing new places and meeting so many wonderful people along the way.
I can't help but wonder what comes next and hope that we make the right decisions with the options that are provided to us.
I just look forward to being able to call someplace home again.