One of those thoughts is on my mind tonight.
I thought we would never be able to go places. Not ever again.
I pictured a life of us growing old, never traveling, never fulfilling the dreams I had drafted in my mind for years before that day.
I thought that's what Down syndrome meant for a family: You have to give everything up.
I had always wanted to go to Fiji. That day in the hospital bed with my daughter in the isolette at the foot of my bed, peacefully sleeping, unaware that she was breathing in air that was so thick with emotion that it was almost as if we had had invited a guest to share our room, I remember thinking that it would never be possible.
I choked back tears and then choked them back again because they kept coming. I felt selfish. Why was I so worried about myself? Children with Down syndrome are given to people who are kind...patient...selfless. I needed to get it together.
I did. Eventually.
Not that day or for many days after, but in time I realized that what I thought just wasn't reality for our family.
Our girl didn't slow us down one bit.
I asked BD tonight, just to be sure, and he confirmed...there has never been a time where we haven't done something based strictly on our daughter's diagnosis. Never.
So, while I can't speak for every family, I hope this is meaningful to someone. Maybe you're wondering, like I was, about the future.
We do things. All the time. Playette the has multiple stamps in her passport. For the most part, she does what we do.
I will go to Fiji someday.
(But I'm not promising to take my kid. ;-)