Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My theme song sucks.

I feel like I've gone from this to this.

And that's why I haven't been writing.

You ever feel like that?

I mean, I love that people read what I write. Really, I do.

But some things I can't talk about, or choose not to talk about, and then there are times like now when things kinda suck all the way around and I'm all, "No one wants to read about how you went to the ER. Again."

For me, y'know, it doesn't even feel like complaining so much as it just feels like life. I have a lot on my shoulders right now. Pressure. Weight.

I don't feel like I'm allowed to be sad or even emotional in general. I'm scared that if I let more than one tear fall while I'm in the shower that I will end up in a padded cell somewhere.

And sometimes even that sounds like it would be a nice, relaxing break.

The funny thing is though? What I'm typing now sounds familiar. I've read it elsewhere. And I've told those people, "It'll be ok."

That's one of the great things about blogging.

People show and tell you that you're not alone.

And maybe you are crazy, but there's someone else that's just as crazy and can relate and even fool everyone they know into believing that they're totally functional which then gives you the power to think that you, too, can get through it.

Ok, so writing that really did make me feel better.

Because I know you're out there.

6 comments:

Lisa said...

::Wildly waving my arms and jumping up and down:: Yeah, I'm out here!!

miri said...

Hopefully this rough patch will pass and your theme song will get peppier again.

**hugs**

Jen said...

I'm out here too! And it will be okay. This too shall pass, right?

(and if you feel like talking about how you had to go to the ER again, go ahead! we're listening.)

Alvaro said...

tink positif!

Wendy P said...

Me too - I'm here!!!

Michelle said...

oh yeah, you're definitely not alone!