Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sentimental Sunday

BD is out of town this weekend and I am learning to appreciate, more and more, the role he plays in this household. Now that Playette is up on her hands and knees, she's faster than ever. Add in some good ole fashioned curiosity and you've gone one tired mama. Don't forget the teething. Oh, the teething! It's gotta be teething right? That has to be what kept her up until she finally passed out at 10:30 last night, right? And why she keeps her fingers pushed to the sides of her mouth at all times, right? She's whiny and she's defiant and she's opinionated and...well, at least she'll eat crackers. That's what they do at this age, huh? Ugh. I need help.

As I feed the Queen her lunch and she continues to throw most everything (Ack! Not the fruit too! Here, have a cracker.) on the floor, I am reminded of something that I read online when the Littlest was about a month old. I was torturing educating myself one morning and decided to take a look at some forum that catered to women who had received a "Poor Prenatal Diagnosis" and went down a path different than my own. What I found there were the thoughts and feelings of many women who had found out that their child had Ds and either chose or were choosing to terminate.

BTW, so not a place for me or anyone in my same position

But, being that I knew no better at the time, I kept reading. One post said something along the lines of, "I want a child that throws their food because they're two, not because they don't know what food is."

Breath. Gone.

Oh, I cried and I cried that day. My husband and a friend told me to never, never go there again. And to stay off the internet already. (I listened to the first part.)

But, seriously, how ignorant of a statement was that? I didn't know then. For all I knew she was offering some sage advice and was much more fortunate than I because she followed it.

You see, that's what bothers me above most things - that there are people like that out there all over. They're at the daycare, they're at my job, they're at the grocery store, and at my friend's house for dinner. They're in the military spouse group with me and at my college reunion. They're "friends" with me on Facebook. Everywhere. And they're smiling in my face. That's what hurts. I don't know what I'm going to do the first time I hear that my child is the latest gossip.

I know that none of that is within my control. I know that I shouldn't waste my time thinking about that. I know.

So, yeah, she throws her sippy cup. I bought her this and it's working well today. The fruit? Eh. I literally live on a friggin' sand dune so she's just begging the ants to set up shop.


You know what, I really only came here to post a photo because I told myself that I have way too much to do today to spend time up on my soapbox. So much for that.

Anyway, here's the picture. It's my favorite from that day.


Michelle said...

I don't know what we'd do w/o our no throw strap! Ruby's been throwing food more, now that she doesn't feel well. She still spits up at least once a day - I hope when she's walking it gets better.

Hope your peanut is feeling better - it HAS to be teeth, right?!

GREAT PIC, by the way.

Michelle said...

I know what you mean about appreciating the hubby when they're out of town (Joe's TDY this week) and knowing how nice it is to have an extra pair of hands around! We're going through teething here too (Lucas!)

A few years ago I used to lurk on a msg board that included a sub-board of termination for medical reasons. Don't ask me WHY I even bothered to lurk/read on THAT board! It was like driving by an accident, couldn't help but slow down to look. I don't know what I thought I would gain from reading - maybe an understanding of the why of it, but all it did was make me cry more often than not. So much misinformation was being passed around too, and I couldn't post because I didn't "belong" since I didn't chose that path. One lady was pg with boy/girl twins and found out her girl had Ds. She tx her girl and had to carry her through the rest of the pg...that one really made me cry. After she was born she named her Kayla. I wanted to say "how dare you give her the same name as my daughter" LOL As if that had anything to do with it :) Anyway, not sure where my comment is going...just that I think I understand...and I had to totally stop going to that board for sanity reasons!

Shawndi84 said...

Love the picture! How old is Malea? ..The things you find on the internet... I read a comment once that said the parents were so ashamed of their baby they would put him in the coat closet if anyone came to their house and say that he was still in the hospital. I was thinking to myself- Are these SERIOUSLY grown women?? Well, we know why we were blessed with our special little angels! :)

sheree said...

that little strappy thing is cool. I need one.

Anyway, I so know what you mean. And you are right...we cannot control what people say/think behind our backs, and really it DOESN'T matter anyway.

Tricia said...

Oh wow. I can TOTALLY relate. You don't want to know all the things I have trolled for on the internet. It makes me sick...and primarily so that I have some kind of thick skin, so that when it hits me some day I can look at, listen to, read, whatever it is and not be totally shocked. However, know this, I have been shocked. Disgusted and shocked.

Beautiful picture.

Lisa said...

Oh, Chrystal, geez. Okay, first, what a lovely, lovely photo! I dunno . . . I'm so thin-skinned, I really try to avoid stuff that I know is only going to hurt hurt hurt. I don't know what to say. ((hugs))

Renee said...

Great picture.

I am so surprised and saddened to learn that so many women chose to terminate because of Ds.

You and your precious daughter will just have to educate all of those people who are "smiling in your face." I would just assume that they all really don't feel that way. Maybe only a very few do. Or am I just naive?

Cortney said...

How was your first Buddy Walk? We have been to two in Anna's 7yrs. There just isn't a close one around. I almost organized one locally but there isn't enough time for everything. I am feeling like it is time to find one again.