Monday, October 13, 2008

Reason, Season, Lifetime

Perhaps you've heard these words placed together before and the explanation that follows. I have...many years ago when it was making the rounds as a forward and sent to me via email. This time, though, I actually sought it out.

I've been reminded, since receiving Playette's dx, that not everyone is meant to stay in my life for the long haul. There are people I thought would always be around and they're just not. There are folks that I hadn't met until recently that I feel very close to. And there are people who love me for who I am and I couldn't pay enough to go away, ever.

Relationships are interesting. While it shouldn't be shocking, even though it is, you really find out who has your back when the unexpected happens. And it may not be because the person doesn't care about you. Maybe they don't know how to react, what to say, or how to say it. Or maybe you just never noticed before that pivotal moment when life as you knew it changed that your friend or family member was very focused on self and didn't really posses the ability to bring anything to the relationship when something emotionally draining happened to you.

Yeah, it sucks.

Jennifer Graf Groneberg wrote in Roadmap to Holland about a woman named Cathy who just couldn't handle her son Avery's dx with Ds. Recently, she posted about that on her blog. People had been asking her about what happened with Cathy and she provided an update. Here is the response I left to that post:

Have you ever seen that email? The one about relationships being for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?

I, too, have had some “Cathys” and it was so, so hard for me to handle at the one time in my life when I actually could have used a helping hand, an open heart, and a shoulder to cry on. I tried to remember then that some people just aren’t meant to be in my life forever. Did that ever hurt though!

And then, because I am who I am, I said, “Screw them. I’m moving across the country anyway.”

Sometimes that approach works too. ;-)

I’m a happier person now that I know that the people I surround myself with are there because they want to be.

So, yeah, that was what made me seek out this and re-read it. I thought I'd share it with you now.

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown


sheree said...

wow. I have never read that before, but I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing ;)

Lisa said...

Chrystal, wow, I have totally been thinking about this lately too, and have been wanting to post something in my blog about how relationsships have changed in my life since Finn came along. Still working on what I want to say, but thank you so much for sharing this.

Peaches323 said...

You are so deep sometimes. BTW..How much money are you offering for your friends to go away? :)