Thursday, May 27, 2010

50/50

It's eval time around these parts.

Not my favorite time, honestly.

If you've never had a kid with any type of difference from the typical, then perhaps you might not know what it's like to have your child evaluated on their skills and abilities at least twice a year.

You're not missing anything fun.

It's just one of those things that comes with the territory of special needs.

Ick.

I mean, don't we all have those? Special needs?

To be fair, I probably won't like any term that has the express intent of picking out something different about my kid and setting her apart.

Difference are supposed to be cool, right?

Anyway.

These evals don't usually tell you anything you don't already know about your kid, but they do tend to put them in interesting formats. Like percentages. With "less than" symbols. Fun, right?!

Of course, you could opt out of this whole process. BUT it's all tied to services. So if it's services you want, evals you will get.

Even if you're like me and you're not 100% sure that you want services, maybe you're also like me in that maybe you might want something someday and if you give up the chance now, you fear that you may be giving it up forever.

And it's not even my chance. It's Playette's chance. That's a lot of pressure.

No one said this thing was fair or easy, y'all.

So, back to the 50/50.

We had an evaluation at home a couple of weeks ago. The "School Psychologist" (still confused about that title) came over and observed Playette while talking to me. As I was sitting on the couch, it hit me.

Are we supposed to do well or not?


I really didn't know.

One one hand, doing poorly would secure her eligibility for services.

Blech.

But, honestly, sometimes Playette just doesn't do her best in these types of situations. She rarely shows strangers who pop up bi-annually for an hour what she knows how to do under everyday circumstances. They get to see Shy Playette or Show Guests to the Door Playette, and not the girl we see everyday.

On the other hand, doing really well might be what the evaluator needs to see in order to recommend that her Least Restrictive Environment is the kind of program in which we envision her being.

That sound you hear?

That's my head exploding.

Messy stuff.

Next up...Preschool via FAPE.

7 comments:

The Sanchez Family said...

Oh I totally get this!!! In fact, I just posted about how I feel about the whole process....but like you said...we have to play the game in order to get the services and yes...when we switch to IEP's and wanting inclusion we have to switch gears and explain how "normal" our kids are so that they will be given a chance....UGGGH!!! My head is exploding as well!

Andrea said...

Our first IFSP meeting, I cried through the whole thing. I still feel so new to "this" whole process. Our last meeting, I wanted to know where she was on the evaluations. Not because I cared to compare her with typical kids, but as her mom I felt I needed to know where she is "supposed" to be. Becasue I do see her as perfect. :) I wanted to know what skills I should work on with her. I do realize the process is skewed, because there are things she could do, that she wouldn't do. I take what I need and just use that. Not, that you were asking, but that is my comment. :) PS thanks for all those great links!

Monica Crumley said...

Yup, I get it, too. Do we do the song and dance to help our kids look good and smart so they can go to full inclusion schools or do we secretly hope they don't do so well so they get all the services they could possibly need? I think my head will explode, too, as we're headed down this path in a few months.

Wendy P said...

awww...hugs my friend. I know this part is really hard. So many conflicting emotions. Playette is a rock star, though, just like her mama and y'all will both be fine.

Carrie said...

This is a part of the future that keeps me up at night. I hope it all works out in the end so Playette gets what is best for her!

Lisa said...

[[[HUGS]]] to you, mama. I'm secretly hoping the "show the stranger to the door" Playette came out :-P

Beary Bee said...

Hi! I just cam across your blog! I have a short person with an extra chromosome too and am glad we have a new internet friend to read about! I totally know how you feel about that evals. We just got one- our baby is 9 months old- and I seriously considered slapping the Physical therapist! It's hard but I know it will be worth it in the end so yeah! p.s. Playette is very VERY cute. I love her pigtails!!

Berit, Josh and Baby Curtis