Starting and Stopping

That's what I've been doing quite a bit lately.

I had a full post in my head and half on paper about Playette turning orange, but I think that moment is gone. She's still my little Rainbow Brite, but so much else has taken place this week that I don't have the details and the emotion where they need to be to write about it anymore.

Then there were other things that I wanted to write about, but it seemed that every time I got on the computer that there were much, much more interesting things to read about than what I planned on writing. I mean, seriously! Just the drama in the disability community alone about Sarah Pallin is enough to keep me occupied all day.

[My thoughts in a nutshell? I think it's great that people are talking about Ds more, and the exposure may lead to better education of those that aren't "in the know," but I am far from believing that she can really do much to change the lives of kids like mine. Politicians say things. And politicians have staff that say things for them. One statement isn't enough for me. I'm cynical like that. Her darling little boy, Trig, is 5 months old. It's going to take her much longer than that to understand with true compassion what it's like for us regular folk to face the challenges we do. I do like that she has shown Trig to the nation and maybe that action alone will change the fears (yes, fears) some people have of those that are different from themselves. Americans who otherwise would not have interaction with someone with Ds can see that Trig is a person first. He's a baby just like any other and when he's a man with Ds, they can connect the two and know that he has a family and friends that care about him and that he's capable of all he sets his mind to. For that, I am appreciative, just as I am of any other parent of a child with Ds that is in the public eye.]

My comments are all over the web and I don't have the time to repeat them all here. If you think you know how I feel about all politics? Chances are, you have no idea. And if it turns out we don't agree? Let's play like grown ups and not act like a lot of folks I've seen. Is it always like this during election years? Where folks turn on each other and protect their candidates like rabid mama bears? Was I just too naive to notice in years past?

Anyway.

I will share a quote that is now one of my favorites:

"When parents of people with disabilities are treated as heroes or saints, they are implicitly told that their disabled children are a terrible burden that must be overcome or endured, an instant ticket to martyrdom."

And, WTH, here's the post and my response is in there somewhere if you have the time and desire to read more.

Sooo, remember this post?

Yeah, so I got a call last Friday with a tentative job offer attached. What?! So soon? I wasn't ready. I'm still not. There was no interview, no long, drawn-out process as is typical with my employer. I talked to the two people I knew-ish that work there and was able to get some inside information. And a phone list. Yesterday, I had a non-interview of my own volition. I learned what they do and a little about how they do it. I learned that the drive will add 10 minutes to my (ahem, 5-7 minute) commute. I learned about the work-life balance and the flexible work schedules. I learned that the salary is, in fact, way more than I'm making now.

But it's different. And I'm comfortable right now. And so many other things that maybe I shouldn't be worried about. But the truth is, I am. I feel like I made a commitment to my current job. I've put a lot of time and effort into learning it and performing my duties well. I've made an impact. I'm needed.

After thinking it over and talking to a couple of people, I've learned that my idea to let my boss in on my offer and hope that she'd counter and offer me something more to get me to stay was just a pipe dream. She doesn't care about people, she cares about business. And the reality is, if someone offered her a 20% raise, she'd drop us like hot potatoes and say it was nothing personal. So why am I still floundering with this decision?

Maybe because the new place is a grown up office. Mine, not so much. We're in an open space, we yell, we wear flip-flops sometimes and then, when the mood strikes, we take our shoes off. We do whatever it takes to make things happen. We're policy makers. Imagine the internet start-ups of years past, but with a little formality thrown in for good measure. We clean up nice.

The new place would have performance appraisals and I'd have to wear heels and be on time and not be blogging in my pajamas at 8:30 am. But, then again, I'd be in at a set time and out at a set time. My husband couldn't just pop his head in to visit or get Playette's diaper bag from me on his way to pick her up (5 min away) from daycare for therapy. Seriously, I know we've never been at the same place during the day before, so why does that even come to mind now?

See how hard this is? I have until Tuesday to make a decision.

And this is now planned for September 21st. Call or email me for more info.