Whatever gets you through the day.

Sometimes we just have to laugh.

(Or snort.)

Thanks to my sister-friend for bringing this to my attention.

In His Own Words: BD

BD checking in

Wow, funny how time flies!

It feels like it was just yesterday that I was writing my Halloween entry for last year. Here we are a year later: wiser, older and more battle tested.

We are having a lot of fun on this journey. Things aren't always perfect, but hey, nothing ever is. We've watched Playette grow by leaps and bounds this year. We have so much fun doing all the things we do. Lucky for us she's a great travel partner (part training, part instinct
I'm sure).

As we've traveled to different places around the world, I continue to be amazed at how the li'l crazy has this amazing affect on people everywhere, no matter where we are or what language they may be speaking. Be it a simple "Hi", a smile, giggle or wave...she just connects with everyone.

It has also been really great to watch her and the momma connect. Their relationship has blossomed into that something awesome that mother-daughter's can only experience. I'm guessing it has a lot to do with singing, which is something this guy doesn't really do to well, but Playette loves her mom's voice!

I consider us to be the luckiest parents in the world to have the littlest rolling with us!

This is BD signing out til next Halloween!

Normal Syndrome Redux

I posted this a couple of years ago and something brought it to my mind again today so I figured I'd re-share.

I'll leave my thoughts at the beginning because they're still relevant, minus the "heading to the Buddy Walk" part.

Reading this again makes me a little sad. It's not that I want everyone to be stunned into silence and immediate worry instead of experiencing the more common joy when their child is born. It's that I wish that I, and others like me, didn't have to be.

I really wish that I had been strong enough in that moment to say to myself, "It's going to be ok. These are just statistics. She is our baby and we will love her and, starting in this very moment and until forever, we will enjoy the place she holds in our lives."

It's really hard to do that when people are screaming as if the worst possible thing has happened when you tell them the news. (By the way, it's not.)

Not me. I didn't scream. I was just crying.

I cried for a very long time.

I cried for the mental retardation and the hearing loss and the shortened life span and the cruelty of others and the fear and the heart defects and the short stature and the slurred speech and the teeth that would be delayed and out of order and the spine and bowel and vision issues.

Mind you, those were only possibilities. But they were delivered to and received by me as facts.

And that, to this day, still hurts.

Life is a crap shoot, y'all. You never know how it's going to play out. I'm learning now to wallow in the good times and try to be prepared for the not-so-good without letting that preparation consume me so much that I'm missing out on the aforementioned goodness wallowing.

It's a delicate balance, a hopefully graceful dance.

Thanks for reading, y'all.

=====

We're off to the Buddy Walk shortly and I don't know what kind of day we're in for, so I'm posting something I didn't write. It's not meant to offend, just to help folks who have never had a child with special needs to understand what parents like us go through when their child is diagnosed. It's unfortunate that there's so much sadness, but you really have to fight to remain happy when the news is delivered like this:

Edited because I would be remiss not to add that "typical" or "typically developing" are terms much preferred over "normal"...I didn't want to miss a teachable moment here. Many parents don't like to hear that others don't think their child is "normal" or that something is "wrong" with them.


"I'm very sorry, I have the results of the genetic tests and they have confirmed our suspicions that your fetus is what we call...Normal.

Some people prefer the terms "Ordinarily Challenged" or "Normal Syndrome". The syndrome can be easily identified by a complete lack of any interesting genetic characteristics. I know this will come as a shock to you, buy you should be aware of what this is likely to mean.

If your fetus manages to survive the rest of the pregnancy and the birth, which is becoming more common these days, he or she will face some daunting challenges. Children who suffer from normalcy are prone to health and psychological problems. It is almost certain that the growing child will suffer a seemingly endless stream of viruses. They will frequently damage themselves, and sometimes others, from their excessive energy.

Their relentless demands will put a strain on your existing family and, of course, your relationship with your partner will suffer, and possibly end in a painful and acrimonious separation. Any children you already have, even if they also suffer from normalcy, will be jealous of the newcomer and all their extra attention. Many siblings are liable to be psychologically scarred by the new arrival.

I need hardly mention the financial consequences, although disastrous, they will be nothing compared to the emotional turmoil your life will suffer.

After a while, you may be lucky and find they can be kind and loving young children. They may find some temporary happiness in things such as music, dancing, food or playing with toys.

But if they survive early childhood, a Normal child is almost certain to grow into a Normal adolescent. Your years of sacrifice will be thrown back in your face as they become disobedient, wild and reckless. Unable to find happiness and contentment, they will treat you with contempt until they manage to leave home. Even then the suffering will continue as they will often return to try and extract money. They will blame you for their own faults and leave you bitter and twisted.

They may well become criminals, over a quarter of Normals will have trouble with the law, many will spend time in jail. Many will have problems with alcohol or drug abuse. Normal marriages are often unhappy and short and over half end in divorce.

Even if they become successful this is likely to be because of the often observed tendency of Normals towards excessive greed. The chances of them sharing their success with you are remote and they will tend to see you as an embarrassment.

Finally, Normal people are likely to die before their time. 23% will die of cancer, 33% of heart disease. Hundreds every year in this country alone are so distressed by their condition that they take their own life. I'm sorry to say that many will have had a lonely, painful and pointless existence.

I am afraid that Normal Syndrome is a genetic condition that affects every cell of the body, and so is impossible to cure."

By Anon.

Party All the Time

I was just sitting here thinking about all we did today and all that's yet to come. And then I started yawning because it makes me tired.

Playette had her trick-or-treating walk around with a bag and get snacks deposited therein "Spirit Day" equivalent today at preschool, followed by a costume parade at daycare this afternoon. We have SO MUCH CRAP in the house now. With even more to come. And I've been eating it. Along with copious amounts of pumpkin bread that I made today. But I still want more candy. I am weak.

Anyway. So tomorrow there's a party in the military housing community center. Those are usually good, so we'll go. We skipped the party in the other military neighborhood today. I just didn't have it in me to run from one end of town to the other.

We did end up stopping by the Navy Lodge though. They had a 40th Anniversary celebration that included cake, a bounce house, cake, cookies, hot dogs, cake, pumpkins, cotton candy, nachos, and cake.

Honestly? I didn't have any cake.

But I really wanted some.

Can you tell?

So I came home and stuffed my face with pumpkin bread again some more.

Whoopsie.

Ahem.

After the early afternoon party tomorrow, our neighbors on the next street are hosting a huge shindig for the kiddos. We'll go there, too. I mean, how can we not? They know how to throw a party. It lasts until "until" so you know it's gotta be good.

Sunday sounds like a nice day to sleep, doesn't it? Trick-or-treating is still kinda up in the air.

=====

The house is quiet so I started clicking around on the computer and came across some pictures of my Playette-ita. She was sooo teensy. I used to say that I could put her in my pocket. Cuteness, y'all.

I keep forgetting that I didn't blog that first year.

That was either the best or the worst decision. It's hard to say.

But what that means without question is that you missed out on Little Miss Pudge. And the clip on bows!

Wanna see?

Be thankful that my desktop is still out of commission. That's the one that has allll the pics on it and I'm sure that if I had access to the stash, you'd be inundated with Playette-ita images right about now.

I'm pretty sure all this nostalgia of late is due to a family member having a baby the other day. It just made me think back and realize how fast it all went. I mean, I remember when the new mama was Playette's age and it just seems so...whew. Like, really? How?

First Two Halloweens

Last Year

Today at breakfast:

FYI

The Great Pumpkin (Patch)

So, we did go to the field trip to the patch yesterday. Turns out, it was in the middle of flipping nowhere, down a street that I'd never, ever known existed, surrounded by lots and lots of produce-filled farmland.

It was awesome.


They had a corn maze and bounce houses and really big veggies.

There were chickens and pheasants and really loud honking geese.


There was also a dark walk through, punctuated with freaky scenes at every turn, that made me wish I had more than one flashlight and forced me to woman-up and press through after everyone had deserted us, me with a three-year-old wrapped around my neck like a fur stole, because I'm the mama and someone had to be brave up in there and I couldn't exactly let the other parents see me have to be rescued from crying in a dirt-filled corner by one of the staff, right?

At least Playette's shirt glowed in the dark. That helped a little by introducing some whimsy into the situation so that I wasn't completely obsessed with thoughts that we would never see daylight again.

Seriously? I don't know why they thought that preschoolers would be ok with that thing. It was mad scary, yo.

I didn't have too long to be freaked because after we got out, there was a group of people with Ds waiting to go in. That made me smile.

I also wondered where they were from. Their ages ranged and I really was curious about them. But, I just smiled and moved along to let Playette see the bunnies.

Some days, I wanna be all "DESIGNER GENES! PEEPS!" and then others? We just are. And they just are. And that's ok.

And just because I'm looking at some more of the pics and I cannot get over how big my baby girl has gotten, I'll share those here, too.






Unbelievable.

Back in Business

I got my laptop back about an hour ago.

AND IT'S WORKING!

Obviously.

I'm so excited and so grateful for friends that know more about technology than I do.

I mean, I did ok without my computer, but I must admit...I miss it when it's gone. I try to make sure to live my life away from this thing, but I do get a lot from it.

For example, all of you. You live inside my computer and I find that kinda awesome.

So, to show you how thankful I am that you are back inside my rehabilitated computer, I will give you real posts again starting tomorrow.

Until then...