"Excuse me, is she Down's?"

Yikes.

Usually, when a conversation starts out that way, it doesn't really go well after.

I mean, it's not that I'm necessarily rude in response, but I do tend to walk away hurt when asked.

Or at least I used to.

We had a pretty good weekend around these parts. On Saturday, we enjoyed a 70 degree day at the beach, followed by a bonfire that night. So, in the effort to help Sunday live up to its predecessor, we decided to have brunch at a popular eatery that just happens to be owned by a Hollywood legend (no spottings, but it was awesome just the same). Stuffed and happy, we headed into town and not long after parking the car, we approached a couple sitting on a bench with their two small dogs.

Playette loves dogs and these two were just her size so I figured it would be a good opportunity for some real-life exposure since she tends to only see them in books or from afar for the most part.

The dogs were friendly, the couple was polite, the sun was shining.

Things were good.

And then it happened.

"Excuse me, is she Down's?"

[sic]! [sic]! [sic]!!!

Gah.

Stab me in my heart, why don't ya?

I mean, it is what it is, but this was a Normal Family Moment and that damn extra chromo just found a way to make its presence known.

I felt my face tighten and I knew that I should respond.

"Yes, she has Down syndrome."

At least I got a little People First Language in there. Always with the educating.

But I hated that I couldn't stare the man right in his eyes and give him the "And what's it to ya?" look that I was feeling from the pits of my soul. I wanted him to know that it was no big deal. I needed him to see that we were ok. This stranger? I wanted all of that to go from me to him, even if I'd most likely never see him again after our brief encounter.

But instead, I all-too-quickly gathered my child up and mumbled a good-bye to the couple and their dogs and moved toward the next corner where BD and his friend were waiting for us.

Except I heard something. As if there was a time delay, kind of like the conversation we were having was via satellite, I heard...

"My sister's Downs. She'll be 46 this year."

Aha. So that's why. There was the connection.

So even while I was saying my, "Have a great day," and encouraging Playette to grab my hand and leave her new found furry friends behind, I wanted to stay. I wanted to know more.

Missed opportunity, I guess.

We reached BD and his friend on the next corner and I said something about what had just taken place, but not enough for them to fully understand.

Moments later, after realizing that we were heading in the opposite direction of our destination, we were at that second corner again. More than sitting on the patio of some pub, I wanted to be back on that first corner.

So I told BD that Playette and I would meet them there shortly. Because we were going back.

Thankfully, the couple was still there, soaking in the sun on that first corner, along with those two little dogs.

I sat. We talked. I learned. She played. We got around to introducing ourselves.

=====

The man's sister loves those little dogs, too, you know.

No, Playette is not deaf. She uses ASL to bridge the gap between her ability to communicate and her ability to speak verbally.

The sister is older and was very sick when she was little.

Playette would probably enjoy having a dog of her own.

His parents started a family business right up the street several decades ago and it's quite popular to this day.

They must have been trailblazers.

Won't we bring Playette over to the store some time for some ice cream or cookies?

=====

Back and forth we went, the walls coming down with each sentence spoken until, finally, it felt ok to leave.

This was a good thing.

I looked up that man's business earlier today and found the website. In the "About Us" section, there was a family photo. Obviously taken years ago, there were the parents, two tall brothers, and a shorter sister being embraced. There she was. Seeing her smile made me smile.

We'll absolutely be making time to go get that ice cream.