Monday, March 8, 2010

Hurt Feelings

Before I was a mom, I used to play with other people's kids a lot. Three-year-olds were my favorite, followed closely by those little ones with two freshly erupted bottom teeth.

I would play games with them and test their reactions, read to them, laugh with them, try to teach them things.

All in small doses, y'know?

Fast forward to last night. There were were eating dinner. Playette had consumed what she decided was enough to declare herself "ahhhhh done!" but instead of saying so, she swatted the fork I held out to her out of my hand and across the table where it fell in front of BD's plate.

BD explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable and reminded her that she should use her words/signs to express herself instead. He asked her to apologize to me.

She stared at him. She pouted. For a really long time. So long that it made me uncomfortable and right about then is when I decided it was time to cry.

Not in the way that I would pretend to cry with other people's children, fully expecting them to quickly offer a remedy to their wrong.

No, this time I cried because I thought, "She doesn't get it. The synapses aren't firing. We are expecting too much of her. This is always going to happen. Forever."

It wasn't a loud cry or an ugly cry or a cry for the benefit of anyone else at the table.

It was just for a moment and it was just for me.

Playette sat there and looked at me for a while longer.

And then she took her left hand...

brought her four fingers in towards her palm...

with her thumb up...

placed her hand on her chest...

and rotated it clockwise.

She apologized.

15 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh my! Wow, this is BIG!! I think our kids are going to surprise us over and over again.

The Sanchez Family said...

She DOES get it! She does...I promise :) Big hug!

sheree said...

That's how these little angels work...just when you start to get sad and worried, they reassure you. :)

Jill Stephenson - Ava's Mommy said...

Whatever you are doing... you are doing perfectly. Chrystal, I have these moments with Ava every single meal time... so much so that right now, I HATE FEEDING her. I absolutely dread it, then feel sorry for dreading it. Ugghh. Keep up the good work!

Sonia said...

Awww...so amazing! She loves loves loves you!

Danielle said...

Ohhhh yay! She's awesome. So are you. And BD. End of story.

Tara said...

I admit to tearing up after reading this. What a beautiful story!

AZ Chapman said...

She will understand some things in her time as long as u keep telling her I think

she could be like me and convently ignore things as well come visit

Lisa said...

SO freaking cool. She is amazing... and you with the on-command tears :)

Shawndi84 said...

Oh yeah, she gets it! :) what a little sweetie! Great story!

Maya said...

That is a wonderful story!
I can so relate to this.
The number of times I have underestimated Leo, I am ashamed to admit. I am learning, and it's getting easier, but it still happens.

I firmly believe that as much as they will frustrate us and sadden us at times (like all kids) they will, most of all, surprise us.
Wonderful story!

Wendy P said...

Well, now I'm crying, dangit.

And, if it makes you feel any better, I had a similar incident with Jackson at about the same age. He did something that hurt me and it took me crying for him to really get what he had done. And he's a 46er.

Carrie said...

What a great story!!

Nerd Girl said...

Sweet.

TUC said...

Oh, I just got chills. We have so much to learn about our children.