Monday, August 23, 2010

Yes, Again.

Does anyone really think that I like talking about the R word?

'Cause I don't.

I hate bringing attention to it because that means that I have to explain when people always ask, "What's the R word?"

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"Can't you just ignore it?"

"Don't you understand that they didn't mean it that way?"

The word is r*tarded, it makes me angry and sad when used to describe anything negative, it hurts to the core, and I just don't.

To put it simply.

I. Just. Don't.

If you know me, you know it's not about being PC. It's not about being the Word Police. It's not about trying to control anyone else and make them act in a way that's suitable to me.


It's about not unnecessarily hurting others.

They are lots of other words out there.


Last week, when I heard J*nnif*r An*st*n (letters removed to try to keep away the nosies) say, "Yeah, I got to play dress up. I do it for a living, like a r*tard," I cringed. And then my heart ached because the audience laughed. A group of people, most likely adults, enough to be heard, laughed.

Every time I watch TV and hear every other word bleeped out, but then "You're r*tarded" or "He's such a r*tard" gets through, I am reminded that so many people don't feel the way I do. These just aren't inappropriate terms to them.

I know it doesn't hit hard to most people that have not been personally influenced by a person with an intellectual disability. I know this. I get it.

Personally, though, I got it before Playette was born, too, so I know it's possible. I got it out of compassion and common courtesy. I didn't defend my right to use words that hurt other people. That's because the words weren't more important to me than the actual people.

That's all I'm asking of others. Just the very same thing I asked of myself. Nothing more.

Dave Hingsburger gets it. I ask that you take a moment to read his words.


ks_kristi said...

You know it has taken me awhile to fully understand this part of my journey with the Smith’s. Intellectually I get it, but I worried about "world police, free speech, etc." Mostly I just wanted an excuse. It's true. That is so hard to say, it’s hard to say something in a group setting, it’s hard to explain it’s not just slang, it’s easier to have an excuse... but that is a cop-out!

I have come to understand that it has nothing to-do with PC or even free speech. It is about having respect. Why on earth would I be ok with a derogatory remark? It really is that simple. Now add a face to that derogatory remark, it breaks your heart, doesn’t it. So stop and tell others to's the only way positive change occurs.

P said...

Perfect link and post of your own, THANKS, I'm saving them for future reference. My sentiments exactly, I got it before too but much more now.

Marie said...

excellent post! You beautifully explained the reason for NOT using the word. Care about the people more than the word!