Today, the Littlest decided that she'd spice it up a bit.
Maybe she's trying to remind me of what things will be like for me when I go back to working full-time outside of the home next week.
I pulled a new dress out of her closet this morning for her to wear. It was one of those moments where you have to weigh out the pros and cons...
Yes, if she wears this, it may get messed up during the school day.
But, if she doesn't, it may end up being one. more. thing that gets outgrown with the tags still on it.
I threw caution to the wind. We'll see how that turns out.
But here's the thing, much like the participants in any number of makeover shows, once she had that new dress on, her whole demeanor changed.
She went into her closet and grabbed her laptop.
Then she went into my closet and snagged a purse.
Partner those with her (old) glasses and she was ready to go.
I hope that I'm half as put-together on Monday.
I cried at drop-off today. I couldn't help it. It was just a few tears, but I couldn't hold them in.
The teacher, who I appreciate very much, was telling me about some of the behaviors that Playette has been exhibiting lately.
Now, I had heard the other teacher mention some things yesterday during pick-up, but I think she was trying to spare my feelings a little too much and kind of acted like things weren't as bad as they are.
The morning lady (they work together in the room for most of the day) was a little more blunt. Which was fine. It's just that I guess that I've been living in a bit of a fantasy lately. I mean, I have this kid who has been just...nice...for so long and hearing that she's pushing and hitting other children? Ugh.
I understand that her chronological age does not match her developmental stage, but still. I thought we got the "terrible twos" thing last year. Apparently not. That was just a preview. She's exhibiting that sort of behavior now in the classroom and I realize that I'm not taking it well because I really, really want her to just be.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't want her to stick out (more).
I don't want her to become a problem.
I want everyone to wish that they had her in their classrooms.
It's that thing about being different already and not really wanting to give her the leeway to be the same as other children in that kind of way.
While it's fine for any other child to have behavioral issues attributed to the stage they're in, for a kid that's already set apart, it's just another strike in my mind.
It's kinda like me not being able to be relaxed in college about breaking a rule....there was no one that anyone could confuse me with as I was virtually the only Black female for most of the time I was there.
So, yeah, it's deeper than "we don't hit" for me.
It's more like, "Please, baby, be nice to your friends today, ok? Be on your very best behavior, alright? Look at me. Can you do that for mama? Please? No, really, I'm serious. Look at me. Do you understand? We're nice to our friends. Hands are not for hitting. Let's use our words today. Look at me. Tell me you understand. Ok? Can you promise me that you'll be the best girl today?"
That is so unfair. I know that.
But that's real life.