Thursday, August 25, 2011

And thennnn....

1. Ok, so she totally came home with a huge whole in the side of her brand new dress. I wasn't mad, but damn. Was she trying to ruin it just to make me look foolish?

Totally fixable and probably wouldn't even be noticeable if it were sewn by anyone other than yours truly. Me? I'll probably make a mess out of it using a hotel sewing kit.

2. Thank you so much to all who left comments on the behavior situation. It really means a lot and I find your feedback helpful. Just knowing that I'm not alone in this is huge.

That reminds me of something..."behavior" was a topic that was never addressed in the sharing session of moms of 3-5 year-olds at the NDSC conference. My biggest gripe about the weekend was that time period. We essentially spent the entire 1.5 hours introducing ourselves, which helped no one. Wouldn't it have been great if this type of thing could have been explored instead? Or any of the other 15 or so things that people said they'd like to talk about? Ugh.

I think it's important that when we have golden opportunities like that, with just us moms (not friends and therapists, like what they allowed this past time - no offense to the supporters), that we seize the chance to talk about the real stuff, the nitty-gritty, the "my special angel isn't acting like such a special angel anymore and I'm no longer feeling like such a special chosen parent to my very special kid" type stuff. (gag @ all the specialness of it all)

We all know that we all love our kids. If we didn't, chances are high that we wouldn't even be at an event like that, y'know? We probably don't need to spend the entire time telling each other that we love our kids.

Obviously, I'm frustrated. It feels so big right now that we missed it. We really missed it in that room that day.

I'm thinking of all the other moms who left that room not getting what they needed, moms with issues that might have been more hearty than my own, and it's breaking my heart.

When are they going to get their chance? Do they spend another 1, 3, 30 years feeling like they're failing?

I hope they're able to find the support they need.

Thankfully, I have you all.

3. And, uh, the weather and seismic activity around here is pissing me off because I don't know how to deal with it. Especially not all at once.


Cate said...

I was going to leave a comment on the behavior post but I couldn't even formulate my thoughts. Just - I'm sad/angry/sad/worried/sad/guilty/sad about this too. We had a particularly ugly trip to the mall yesterday and...yeah.

Let's propose a 2012 workshop: "Yes we love them but it's still hard, so let's cut the sharing bullshit and get down to crying". No?

Alison said...

My friends who have typical kids have made a great observation: moms of typical kids are allowed to bitch, and nobody thinks, "Damn, they shouldn't allow typical kids to be born anymore--they're so much trouble!"

Because of the stigmas against our kids, we often feel like we have to keep up the happy face at all times, and that's unfair and inappropriate. Our kids are people in the world, like any other kids, and they will sometimes act shitty. That's their humanness.

sheree said...

I like Cate's idea!

But yeah...that was weird. I mean, I have never been to a conference before but the sharing session was something I was *really* looking forward to. Hopefully next time?

Miss you!

Lisa said...

Ok. Seriously. No joke about that non-sharing session. I totally let them have it in my online survey about that. And not just the BS of spending 90 minutes on introductions, but the idea of breaking out into groups by topic was the WORST. IDEA. EVER. wth? If a bunch of people with the same behavior issue get together (but people who have worked through it successfully with various strategies DON'T go in the group because it's not a problem for them anymore) how the hell does that help? How are you "sharing" ideas, hopes, concerns... and benefiting from such a unique opportunity to have so many perspectives in one room together? I. WAS. PISSED. And I let them know in my survey.

Oh, and by the way, I agree with Alison.

Christi said...

I was in the sharing session too! Sadly we didnt accomplish anything that time frame needs to be longer. We are starting to encounter the bahavior issues as well;(

krlr said...

What Cate said, with an amendment:
"Yes we love them but it's still hard, so let's cut the sharing bullshit, OPEN THE WINE & SNACKS, and get down to crying".

This is why I stay online - my son has a fit and he's tired/hungry/ spoiled, but if my daughter does I get a pity smile and it's because of the DS.

Tricia said...

LOVE the ideas and LOVE Alison's comment. Especially entering into a new school in a place that has not seen the likes of G in over 15 years (getting all sorts of calls from all sorts of people with questions about G...that, frankly...well....I need to write a post.) But! I agree. With all of it. And it's hard! Thanks for inspiring me to write. I will. Miss you!