Monday, April 23, 2012

7 Days Old

Because we watch way too much Nick Jr over here, I can't get this song out of my head.

Every day, it's "Oh, look at me, I'm ___ days old!"

So, yes, what that means is that our newbie was born last week. Finally. At 41 weeks + 5 days gestation, Dez came into this world like gangbusters. He was just over 9lbs and 22 inches long. He's got the largest hands and feet. He's so alert and reminds me of a much older person. He's flipping adorable.

I would have to tell you the whole story for it to make sense, and I will, but suffice it to say for now that things went just a leetle away from the plan in order for him to be born.

And by a leetle, I mean "almost as much as they possibly could."

But I'm happy with the outcome.

And so very, very grateful.

It's a totally different experience, coming home with a kid that you're not staring at, waiting for any sign of heart failure because it sounds sooo horrible and you don't want to miss it by accident.

Yeah. I haven't been doing that.

I also haven't been crying non-stop, paralyzed with fear about when the other shoe was going to drop.

He's passed every screening, so all those trips back to the ENT and Audiology with a newborn haven't proven necessary.

We haven't had to brave two hours of sweat-drenched freak-out (mine) due to hearing screams like I've never heard before (hers) at the Endocrinologist's office, trying to squeeze out enough blood for a CBC. No waiting for a doctor to come find an artery. No decision to be made about whether or not to stick a needle in the baby's scalp.

No geneticist, no social worker, no staying up all night trying to figure out on my own what "EI" means and how to get connected to it.

There have been "Congratulations!" instead of "I'm sorry."

I haven't lost any friends so far that I can tell.

It's quite bizarre.

Sleep deprivation? Check.

Sibling adjustment issues? Check.

Mom guilt? Check.

Icky and painful childbirth recovery symptoms? Check.

All that delightfully boring, run-of-the-mill stuff? We're going through it.

But I can't help but think of all that I missed last time.

How scared I was then as compared to how happy I'm allowed to be now.

If you've been here, you know what I mean.

If you haven't, I appreciate that you're here and learning.

Next time, I'll share some pics or something. Today was more a day of reflection.

Again, I'm grateful. For all of it.

Without the cloudy days, you don't appreciate the sunny ones nearly as much.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Seriously Stubborn

I'm realizing that it's difficult for some people to believe that I'm still pregnant.

But I am. 41 +1.

So I asked BD to take this photo of me yesterday as we were on our way in to my appointment to check on how our newbie is doing.


Apparently, he's just fine. He rocked the ultrasound and non-stress test. The only "issue" is that he's measuring big. I know it's just a guesstimate and all, but petite mama + big, comfy boy that doesn't appear to have any immediate plans to introduce himself brought out some concerns amongst my medical support staff.

That made yesterday a tad bit stressful for me.

Today is better. I have smart and caring friends that are earning their keep with reassurance and confidence in me.

And, also, I'm healthy. Doing great, in fact. No complaints other than the stuff that's par for the course at this point in any pregnancy. I still fit my wedding rings. I'm actually begging for some discomfort of the labor variety.

I still have every hope that Dez will come and greet us on his own, but if not, the interventions begin on Sunday night. Boo.

Just hope for the best, 'k?

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012

Pee-Pee Pants and Preparation

Still pregnant. Just in case anyone was wondering.

Also? No signs of impending labor.

You do know that whole "due date" thing is just a suggestion, right?

Intellectually, I am aware of that fact as well, but there's just something about that day going by that does something to a gal. Add in the possibility of still having as many as twelve more days to go and...

Personally, it has made me certifiably loony. Either I'm laughing or crying. Eating or sleeping. One extreme or another. Moderation has gone out the window.

Yesterday, I spent quality time with my OnDemand. Never before had I shown interest in Celebrity Apprentice, but yesterday? I needed to watch the season. And then get unreasonably upset that I couldn't fast forward because I would fall asleep, the show would end, and then I'd wake up and have to start from the beginning. Again. And again. Talk about first world problems.

[I did actually learn something though. Clay Aiken's charity sounds amazing and him visiting the kids made me all teary.]

Today, I decided to make myself at least somewhat useful. I got up and showered and dressed. Before noon!

Wait. Just to clarify, I do wake up in the mornings. I am responsible for picking out Playette's clothes, doing her hair, and taking her to school. After that, I usually have good intentions, but many a day I end up back in the bed with the curtains drawn.

Because I'm that awesome. #notproud

Oh, and get this:

We rearranged our bedroom many weeks ago in order to get ready for the newbie. I gave up my nightstand and replaced it with a bassinet.

I have now turned the bassinet into a nightstand.

Turns out it's quite the convenient spot for the remote control and there's this little ribbon slot on the side that allows me to not have to reach to the floor, huffing and puffing, for my cell phone charger. It slides right in! Huzzah! And it's also a great place for my water bottle. Who knew?!

I promise that I'll adjust appropriately when the time comes.

Whenever that may be.

Gah.

So. Wondering how Playette is taking all of this?

I think she thinks that I'm the biggest liar ever. She's been waiting on this baby for a very. long. time. I am starting to think that she's going to be scarred for life when he does come because Dez is just supposed to live in my big belly FOREVER. Or so it seems.

We've been struggling with a lot of clinginess and attention-seeking behavior lately. And then there's the whole accident thing.

This week, there were three days in a row where Playette came home in her spare clothes. I just kept washing them and sending them back the next day. It made it easier for me to assess whether something had happened or not because my brain was having a hard time recognizing right away whether that was what she had worn that morning or not.

Enter the pee-pee pants.

They are teal and velour. They just barely still fit. They are obvious.

And I've seen them way too much this week.

We went from no worries in the land of toileting to my heart dropping every afternoon.

We've had conversations. Grown-up conversations about how amazing our bodies are that they tell us when to eat, drink, and...POTTY! Remember that part? Yeah. Stop waiting until the last possible second, kid. Or, maybe tell a teacher you have to go before you start? Because "I'm wet," is an awesome sentence and all, but it's not the most desirable use of your vocabulary at this particular time.

So now you see why I've been taking to my bed.

It's just stressful.

And, again, intellectually I know that other kids in her class may wear pee-pee pants, too, occasionally. I just don't want anyone to look at my kid (any more) differently. I want so badly for her to just blend.

*sigh*

In the effort to help her adjust better to the actual bringing home of baby, we went out today and got a few things. Since regression due to change related to a new sibling is totally normal, it was suggested by her teacher that we try to put her in a mommy-type role instead of allowing her the option of reverting back to that of baby when Dez arrives.

That meant going to the toy store today. (Good thing I got dressed!)

She got this:


And this:

And then we stopped at the library to check out this:


This was all pretty impromptu and we're not really the toy-buying types (Playette is just so content with what she has), so I hope it goes over well. The doll and gear will remain in the trunk of the car until needed and she's already "reading" the book. It seems perfect for her and this situation. BD really impressed me by finding the book in under three minutes, quite randomly, since we got to the library right before closing time.

I wish I could say that we put more thought into this whole thing, but we went from having sooo much time to having none, so, again with the winging it.

There's a full moon tonight, y'all. Think labor-inducing thoughts, 'k?