Full Circle

I'm sitting here comtemplating how to handle the IFSP situation I'm currently in and how much I can't stand those people and how they seem to cause more harm than good and how I still haven't written out any of what actually happened...and then I remember that I'm at work.

So, I decide to do some, well, work.

Someone had left a catalog on my desk along with a note instructing me to peruse and let them know what kind of training seminars interest me.

I picked out about 10, being sure to include ones that are good, but coincidentally only offered in cities where my friends live so that I can get a free visit out of it, before my supervisor informs me that she can only authorize local stuff.

Well, boo. That sucks.

I trim my list accordingly and only three courses remain:

- How to Communicate with Tact and Professionalism
(not that I don't, but I'm sure there's room for improvement)

- Dealing with Difficult People

- Managing Emotions Under Pressure

I had to laugh. At this rate, our six-month IFSP review may just go ok after all.

Helpful Hints...and a request

I was just thinking about how while most of the time Playette requires nothing more than any other child her age would require, sometimes we've come across some things that are pretty interesting and helpful in overcoming some of the challenges she's faced.

I've never documented them here, so I'm hoping that maybe this is good info for someone:

Nosefrida - An absolutely disgusting concept with amazing results. We used to use this thing at least every morning. I see now that it's available at some Whole Foods. Yay for no shipping! And, no, we never got boogers in our mouths. Really.

Maroon Spoons - We used these pretty much exclusively when Playette first began eating food. First, we used the small ones and then later, when we saw that her mouth was big enough to handle it, we moved on to the large size. We still do use the small ones though because they're still good. The idea behind these, as it was explained to me, is that it helps with tongue protrusion. I don't know how accurate that is, but all of the literature says that it's "widely used for working with children who have problems such as poor lip closure, oral hypersensitivity, or tongue thrust. The narrow, shallow bowl of the spoon makes it ideal for feeding therapy." I know that for me it helped me to be conscious of not scraping the food off the roof of her mouth and allow her to work to get it.

Z-Vibe, Nuk Brush - We got these oral motor tools pretty early, back before we moved and when we were still under VA's Early Intervention (PIE) program. Our Service Coordinator was fantastic [Really, she was. So much, in fact, that I just had to stop typing, check to see if I still had her number, and called to say "thank you." I figure the good ones don't hear that enough. She's no longer at that number, apparently.] and set us up with two ST consults ("You can have one every six weeks free of charge," she said) in the four months we were with her. When the ST recommended these two items, over came the Service Coordinator to our house with the request forms all filled out for the purchase. I remember that all I had to do was sign and she put the papers in a addressed and stamped envelope that she stuck in the mailbox steps from our front door. *sigh*

Anyway, the point is that the ST thought that exposing these to Playette early via some easy exercises would be helpful to her in the long run. She didn't like it at first and we, admittedly, weren't super disciplined with the exposure, but these days sometimes we'll pull one out of the cabinet and she'll just put it in her mouth and play around for a while. She probably really likes it now because of the teeth coming in and all, but hey. Whatever works.

EasieEaters Curved Utensils - Either this item or something that resembles it very closely was brought up during our so painful I wanted to stick an EasieEaters Curved Utensil in my eye to take me out of my misery IFSP meeting the other day. I think it's a great idea and we'll give the one they lent us a try after I soak it in bleach for 3 days. Playette understands what the fork and spoon are for and does an ok job at getting some food into her mouth, but she does have some trouble rotating her wrist appropriately. Perhaps this will help. I think I'll buy/order some Boon Benders if all goes well.

Nuby Cups - We bought Target out of these. They worked really after we transitioned from bottle to cup. I had always heard/read of how straws were much preferred over sippy cups because they helped strengthen the mouth muscles and limit tongue protrusion. Again, I'm no expert, but I took that info and ran with it. We started out with the (expensive) Sip Tip Cup. It served it's purpose, I guess, in that she learned how to drink from a straw that way. It's not what I would call convenient though since it's not easy to transport your drinkables without spillage, and the small pieces can disappear easily.

Someone kindly offered us the SRJ Straw Kit, but I haven't used it as much as I should. I should buckle down and buy the DVD already.

Hmmm...I can't think of anything else at the moment. If I do, I'll be sure to post.

And if you have any questions about any of this, ask away. I'll help however I can.

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And now for the request:

It's been recommended that we purchase some Nosey Cups so that Playette can learn better how to position her head while drinking and hopefully improve her swallowing (now she tends to tilt her head to her back and whatever is in the cup ends up more on her than in her mouth). I've done the Google thing and I still can't decide which specific ones to get and from where. And the prices are all over the map.

Would you mind sharing your experience with the Nosey Cups? Did you end up liking them? What size did you get? Where did you buy/order them? Any info is greatly appreciated.

Cell Phone Photo Challenge

I was catching up on my blog reading and noticed that Lisa posted a challenge to post photos from your cell phone. I have a crappy phone so I do apologize for the quality, but take take plenty of pictures on it, so I figured this would be fun. It's interesting how these grainy photos can really tell a story.

You already know I like to take goofy self-portraits, so I'm not including any of those. And I'll stick to somewhat recent stuff so that I don't go completely (further) overboard.

Anonymous Vegas blackmail photo. Did I ever blog about that trip? Well, no. No, I didn't.


Part of the case I'm building against my landlord. Our lease promises a gardener. We pay for that. We obviously don't get it.


Cake!


Reecie the wonder puppy! (She belongs to my aunt.)


What I found outside of my office on my first day of the new job. Very nice.


Hm. Looks like my fears are warranted. I found this sign about a mile from my house.


Evidence that my grandmother's flower arrangement was less than stellar. What a rip-off.


Playette has taken to cleaning lately. She picks up rags, or things that are rag-like, and starts to "clean." She doesn't get that from me.


Caught!


The beach at sunset yesterday.


Baby Fish Mouth. We had just come from the Farmer's Market and Playette was chowing down on some fried catfish that I bought from the Soul Food Lady.

Back in the Swing of Things

Well, I know we're back at least. The swinging part? Eh. I need more time.

I woke up this morning and I actually felt ok. It was a whirlwind of a weekend, but things went alright overall.

Playette remains an amazing plane rider.

Either that or something's really, really wrong with her. Like her body can't handle the pressure change or the elevation or something. She tends to fall asleep almost immediately after takeoff and stays that way for the duration. Someone needs to do a study on that.

So, yeah, no problems out of her.

We arrived at the Philadelphia airport at about 6:30 Saturday morning. It was a rough flight. The agent that helped me secure the tickets surely thought he was doing me a favor by placing BD right next to me, but no. My husband and I have no problem being apart for 5 hours. So putting us in row 24, in the window and middle seats? Well, we didn't exactly love it. I thought I was going to beak out in a panic about 3 minutes after we took our seats. The back corner of the plane is so not my friend. And then you put a squirming, 98+ degree toddler on me when there's no cool air circulating? Ugh.

But, anyway, we made it safely and that's what really matters. I've mentioned before about my new found pseudo-fear of flying (that seems highly irrational after flying on my own for almost 30 years with no problems), so survival is a good thing. I'll take it.

I had been worried about how Saturday would go for some time. For one, my family that I'd be seeing had never met Playette. Even BD had only experienced a very brief introduction. So, I really didn't know what would happen and I was paranoid. Would they be afraid of her? Would they make rude comments without even realizing it?

The good thing is that none of that happened. Playette won everyone over from the get-go and my family was great with her.

Of course there was other stuff that was less than desirable, but compared to my last trip it was fine.

Playette's outfit for the service came together beautifully.

I even got to see my very good friend Jocelyn again. Remember her from her post? Playette was the size she was in that photo the last time they had seen one another, so them getting some time together was a very cool consequence.

My aunt outdid herself with cooking enough good food to feed a small town while we were there and I'm sure I gained a few pounds just from lemon cake and cream cheese brownies alone.

We arrived home yesterday to a heat wave of sorts. It got up to almost 90 degrees and I was loving it.

Trust me, that never happens here. Which is why hardly anyone has AC. But I was even happy to tough that out. I mean, last night, I walked outside at almost 9 and remembered what it was like to have summer: sitting on the porch talking, enjoying good company...that's what I miss.

And then we had our IFSP meeting today.

Later for that.

Lots of Thoughts

When I take the time to look at the posts in my account, I can't help but see the drafts sitting there, patiently waiting for me to complete my thoughts so that they can be shared with all of you.

I remember those drafts when I read the words of others, most often fellow mamas who are joining me in this journey. Most of them are like me in that this is a trip that wasn't planned, but they're pressing forward and taking time to enjoy the view. There are others, even, that have hearts full enough to welcome even more children in that share the something extra that has brought us all together in the first place.

Because of what we hold in common, we have a lot of the same thoughts, fears, joys, excitements, anxieties, questions.

I want to share some of what's going through my mind. And I will soon. Those drafts deserve as much.

But first, there's life. The doing that comes before the writing.

I really don't want to pack my family up and schlep us all across the country for 48 hours. Really. I don't know what I'm walking into. My hope is that the purpose outweighs the drama and that people recognize what is bringing us all together and respect it.

I'm doing this with the full knowledge that, next week, we will finally have Playette's IFSP. I don't even know what we're in store for then and I'm not prepared at all. Not one bit.

On top of that, I received an email the other day from the place where Playette gets her speech therapy. They were offering complimentary evaluations by an OT, PT, ST, and developmental-type professional. Me being me, I called to sign her up.

Shoot, why not? Maybe they can show us something we're missing? Maybe we'll get a pat on the back even? I mean, I think she's been doing great. Using the potty we bought on a whim a few times, walking more, picking up new signs quickly, and all that.

I wouldn't allow myself to think: Maybe it will be a waste of time? Maybe I'll walk out of there in tears, further reminded of what my child can't do?

Well, at least not until right now anyway.

I was upbeat about it even through the phone call I had with the coordinator of the event last night. I told her that if this wasn't intended for "people like us" then she should let me know right away and we'd cancel the appointment. If it's only for parents who are wondering about whether or not their child may have delays and they need assistance in knowing what those may be, then she should tell me because we're already 100% certain that my daughter has 47 chromosomes, but what we need is a fresh perspective that's been pretty hard to find in this small town. So could she give me that? Could 30 minutes with strangers give me what I was lacking?

I think I may have scared her a little with my bluntness. We still have the appointment, but I won't get my hopes up too high.

She had asked if they could see previously completed evaluations and I said no, that I didn't want someone's impression of my child 8 months ago to influence what they think next Saturday.

You know what I imagine that phone call felt kinda like? Like when you know someone doesn't want you somewhere, but they don't have the balls/right to tell you no, so you go/stay and have a great time.

Like when we used to live in Texas when I was a little girl. I remember these men standing on the side of the road on Sunday mornings when we'd be driving home from church. My mother would pull over, because they were waving cars to do just that. And then those men would get all flustered and she would laugh and drive off while telling me after I asked what happened that those men were recruiting for the KKK.

I know it's not as serious as that, but that's honestly what came to my mind.

You sent us an invitation, we're coming to the party.

If it was an accident? I bet you'll do a better job of editing your guest list next time, huh?

Which reminds me of something that's been bothering me all day. I mean really has my heart hurting in that ball-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach kind of way. Which makes no literal sense, but you know what I mean.

I read today about a little girl. So pretty, so sweet in the way that her mother describes her. Well, she's being treated unfairly in an organization in which she's a part. An organization well known for empowering young girls. They're not letting her participate with the rest of the girls her age, which is something that she's very able to do. They've turned it into a clique that she's not a part of. And I'm angry about it. At best, they treat her patronizingly. And this sweet girl knows it.

I've mentioned this before: I can tell my daughter what it's like to be a woman and have to deal with what comes along with that. I can tell my daughter about some of what she'll face as a Black woman, even. But I don't have anything that's considered a disability. I don't know what that's like. And I don't know if being a woman and/or being Black is going to make that even harder for her.

I don't know what to do. I don't have an answer other than to want to wish it away.

But I know enough to be angry at how unfair it all is. And I know to write and try to express how I'm feeling. And I know enough to let that fellow journey-trekking mama know that I care.

I want to tell my baby girl, and hers too, whatever will allow them to come to the party anyway and have the time of their lives. I want them to drive off laughing while they wait for the other people to get over themselves and learn that we're all in this together.

This is Me...Then

Remember when Jennifer Lopez was all "Ben Affleck is the love of my life and I'm so blissfully rich and happy and beautiful and - oh, did you see my honkin' engagement ring? - by the way, I've got a new album coming out and, no, it won't win any awards or anything, but I'm soooo happy - have I told you that already? - and it's all about my life at this point in time. Go buy it."?

Maybe I'm the only one that remembers that mess, but my point is that J.Lo was all, "I want to look back at this point of my life later and blah blah blah."

Oh, I don't know. She said something.

But really, what I took away from it was that when you've moved on to another phase of your life, sometimes it's good to be able to look back and see the person you were before. It allows you to see how far you've come. And even if you didn't make the best decisions or wear the nicest outfits, or have what was considered stylish hair, that was you at that point in time and it helped you to get where you are at the "today" that you're in.

Perhaps I'm giving the lady too much credit, but that's what I remember. She probably meant nothing like that and it really was a crappy choice for an album CD mp3 compilation title regardless, but it stuck in my head for all these years until I could finally put it to good(?) use as a blog post title.

Now if only I could leave that memory here and instead save something else meaningful in my brain like where I lost my bluetooth headset 6 months ago.

The reason this is even coming up is because I'm seeing folks whose blogs are in my reader post their photos of themselves just as they are today. The challenge is to just show yourself without primping, heavy on the realness. No grabbing a comb, a clean shirt, a shower, or some lip gloss. Just you in the moment.

I felt pretty fortunate that I have on a turtleneck today and you can't see my extras, so I gave it a try.



Pretty tame, really. Aside from me needing a haircut and my eyebrows done, I'm ok with it. You can't see my tan pants and the reason why I refuse to go to Target until I have gone home and changed clothes first, but you can see my window. I love my window.

I have an office.

With a window.

*passing out*

If only I had taken a photo of my previous work conditions. Then you would fully understand my excitement.

Anyway, so because I don't know the meaning of just doing something and being done with it, here are the poses that didn't win Grand Supreme:

CrazyFace

KissyFace

SleepyFace

All Tongue

And, yes, I am aware that I watch too much Toddlers & Tiaras, thankyouverymuch.

Oh! And I've had that plant for less than a week and it's almost dead. Sadly, that's not a record.

Highly Recommend It

No one is home but me.

I just danced all over the office to Brickhouse.