Brotha

Ok, so maybe I didn't waste years of my life on this TV show after all. Some good came from it.

I believe that, over the past four weeks, the question I've most frequently been asked is, "How is Playette adjusting to being a big sister?" or some version thereof.

The last time I posted, she was still a little iffy about him.

At first, if asked, she would say that she didn't want to hold him. I have some pictures of her first meeting with him, but I haven't the brain power to upload them from the camera quite yet. The scene went a little like this: Playette arrived with her friend, escorted by her friend's mom (who so graciously agreed to watch our child while I was in the hospital for much longer than I had ever planned). The girls were super cute, dolled up in dresses and matching hair bows. They were ready for a special occasion. But what did Playette do? Well, she acknowledged that there was a baby, but that was about it. The girls were much more interested in chasing each other around the curtain that surrounded my room door. When they left, Playette said goodbye to my belly, not the baby.

After the first week, she made a switch. I guess she figured that he wasn't going anywhere and perhaps she should get with the program. She added a couple of phrases to her lexicon. "S'alright, baby." "S'ok." But he still kinda intimidated her. (Not that I could blame her.)

Check out when she tried to give him a hug two weeks ago:

 

Since then, she has come around. Way around. She wants to protect him, hold him, feed him (ahem, not with a bottle), hug him, kiss him, push his swing (totally not necessary), change him, show him off. ALL. THE. TIME. A little Elmyra-esque. New phrase: "What's wrong, Dez?" in a little sing-songy voice

This was last week:

 

When I picked her up from school on Friday, one of the teachers told me how impressed she was with whatever we've been teaching Playette at home. Apparently, she is very attentive to the dolls, even moreso than before. I asked if she's been trying to breastfeed them and she hasn't...yet.

Overall, she's a happy big sister.

And other than her taking certain liberties with his umbilical cord stump two weeks ago, I'm pretty pleased with her showing, too.

7 Days Old

Because we watch way too much Nick Jr over here, I can't get this song out of my head.

Every day, it's "Oh, look at me, I'm ___ days old!"

So, yes, what that means is that our newbie was born last week. Finally. At 41 weeks + 5 days gestation, Dez came into this world like gangbusters. He was just over 9lbs and 22 inches long. He's got the largest hands and feet. He's so alert and reminds me of a much older person. He's flipping adorable.

I would have to tell you the whole story for it to make sense, and I will, but suffice it to say for now that things went just a leetle away from the plan in order for him to be born.

And by a leetle, I mean "almost as much as they possibly could."

But I'm happy with the outcome.

And so very, very grateful.

It's a totally different experience, coming home with a kid that you're not staring at, waiting for any sign of heart failure because it sounds sooo horrible and you don't want to miss it by accident.

Yeah. I haven't been doing that.

I also haven't been crying non-stop, paralyzed with fear about when the other shoe was going to drop.

He's passed every screening, so all those trips back to the ENT and Audiology with a newborn haven't proven necessary.

We haven't had to brave two hours of sweat-drenched freak-out (mine) due to hearing screams like I've never heard before (hers) at the Endocrinologist's office, trying to squeeze out enough blood for a CBC. No waiting for a doctor to come find an artery. No decision to be made about whether or not to stick a needle in the baby's scalp.

No geneticist, no social worker, no staying up all night trying to figure out on my own what "EI" means and how to get connected to it.

There have been "Congratulations!" instead of "I'm sorry."

I haven't lost any friends so far that I can tell.

It's quite bizarre.

Sleep deprivation? Check.

Sibling adjustment issues? Check.

Mom guilt? Check.

Icky and painful childbirth recovery symptoms? Check.

All that delightfully boring, run-of-the-mill stuff? We're going through it.

But I can't help but think of all that I missed last time.

How scared I was then as compared to how happy I'm allowed to be now.

If you've been here, you know what I mean.

If you haven't, I appreciate that you're here and learning.

Next time, I'll share some pics or something. Today was more a day of reflection.

Again, I'm grateful. For all of it.

Without the cloudy days, you don't appreciate the sunny ones nearly as much.