Wandering Eyes

Poor BD.

Malea has apparently fallen for the Resident who saw her today before the Cardiologist that I continue to adore entered the room.

She was all flirty and winky and let him use his stethoscope without complaint, which is a rarity these days.

And then I got all of my questions answered, in addition to an artistic breakdown, which I greatly need because I failed Fluids 1 in college and just the phrase "pressure drop" alone is enough to lose me.

*swoon*

Plus, we got great news on top of that. The heart, it is fine. So much so that we probably won't have a need to see our guys again before moving next fall.

*single (happy) tear*

Stone, Unturned? Never!

In my quest to figure out why Playette isn't wasn't gaining weight, we made an appointment to see our illustrious Pediatric Cardiologist. It actually happened really quickly, thanks to the support of our Pediatrician. We'll also have a GI appointment soon, along with a million other every-six-month things that tend to overwhelm me every June and December.

You'd think I'd attempt to spread these out some, but that's just too much like right.

Anyway.

So, Cardio. This afternoon at LPCH. Two hours each way. (driving incentives)

We're off to get an Echo.

And then follow up with the Doc.

If you read that without the sing-songy voice in your head, you're a much more mature person than I am.

I came back to work today for a grand total of 3.5 hours. And then I'm off tomorrow. Which is good because our Medi-Cal application packet, that I saw and opened on Sunday, is due yesterday and I need to spend some time at the local office confirming that we are, in fact, U.S. citizens. That, honestly, will probably take at least two hours. Just because.

The good thing is that the case worker we've been assigned seems to be a good match. Does she know anything about Institutional Deeming? No, of course not. That's too much to ask. But does she laugh at my jokes, entertain my rants, and return (all 1 of) my phone calls thus far? Yes. So in my mind? She's a keeper.

What else, what else, what else...

Compassion.

Let's talk about that.

Because that's the word that comes to mind when I think of the Cardiologist we're going to see today. Him + aforementioned driving incentives + the hope that I have that my loving husband will do some the majority all of the driving is what makes this whole thing bearable.

Seriously, the doctor rocks. We saw him the first time about a year and a half ago and I remember him being so attentive and patient and completely not treating my child like the specimen that we were crazy to have brought home with us from the hospital. Cause, yeah, those doctors exist.

Anyway, this guy was great and I hope that I wasn't loopy and he's actually like this for real, consistently, and not just in my head.

I knew there was something different about him and then, at the end of the appointment, in a nonchalant sorta way, he said, "My nephew has Down syndrome."

And it all made sense.

More people, doctors even, need to have a "nephew" with Down syndrome. Because then maybe they would get it.

Our kids are not the proverbial lips off of the Michael Jackson 8th birthday cake that I saved and wouldn't let anyone eat and then one day realized that no one would ever be able to eat them because they don't exactly last forever, no matter how much Saran Wrap you use (do I even have to mention this is a true story?).

Annyyway.

They're kids. And we love them. And they should be treated with respect.

OMG, I'm tired. Why am I so tired?

Feel free to ignore the parts that made no sense.

Make Room for Mama

I got back home just after midnight on Saturday morning. Can I just tell you how much I hate the puddle jumper flight that brings me home on about 75% of my trips? Ugh. And this time they overbooked it and offered $600 vouchers. So tempting. If only I hadn't been so homesick, I surely would have delayed my flight by 8 hours or just sucked it up, rented a car, and drove two hours.

Yesterday was spent mostly in the bed for me. I was exhausted and slept most of the day away. Today was just slightly better. I did at least get up and go to the grocery store this evening. I was feenin' for some Costco rotisserie chicken too, but since I only saw fit to drag myself in there 5 minutes before closing, they were all out. Boo.

I've learned a few things since I've been home that I'd like to share:

1. No matter where I go, no bed or shower feels better than my own.

2. BD got along just fine without me. Like, really. He has his own way of doing things, sure, but they work so yay for him!

3. Playette now poops on the potty every night after dinner like clockwork. She also signs the word potty, which I had nothing to do with whatsoever. (I have photographic evidence, but I've never seen anyone else post photos like that on their blogs so I'm a little hesitant to look like a wack-a-loon. Some more.) I don't know where we're headed with this whole potty training thing, but it's a start at least. We'll figure it out as we go. I hope we're not screwing it up by using this approach.

4. My child is at least 2 pounds heavier than the last time I saw her. Go, PediaSure and go, BD, with the food stuffing.

5. She's also progressed nicely in the self-feeding department. I forgot how good it felt to just eat and not eat-scoop-feed-offer-beg-scoop-feed-eat.





I know the food doesn't look all that appetizing here, but she was straight grubbing on the chicken, rice, beans, cheese, sour cream, and guacamole. We didn't have to feed her one mouthful. When she got tired of using the bendy spork thingee, she went back to using her hands, but I'd say that great progress is being made nonetheless.



6. Playette is a master at backing down the stairs properly now. It shows me that all of the practice at PT sessions has been worth it. I also caught her using the same maneuver trying to get down off of our bed today. It makes me feel good to know that not only is she learning and retaining new skills, but that I also don't have to worry so much about her plowing down stairs headfirst.

It's amazing how much can change in 12 days.

Oh! And I've also learned that my husband makes a pretty tasty mojito.

So, uh, I'm gonna stop typing and finish it now.


(I'm crazy behind on my blog reading so if there's anything you want to make sure that I see, shoot me an email. Not that I'm not behind in my emails also, but it's still better than the outstanding status of my Google Reader, so that's a good route to take.)

Imagine That

I'm actually accomplishing quite a bit during my little vacay. I may not be making appointments or "negotiating" with the local 0-3 program, but I'm keeping busy.

I took a total of 5 classes at the gym over 3 days last week. Sure, I was a little wore out, but I feel good. Doing so reminded me that I'm not completely lazy and that I have the capacity to get in shape again if I could only get the stars to align in my favor in my real life (as opposed to the fantastical fountain of free time I'm floating in until Friday).

I'm almost done reading The Year My Son and I Were Born, which I really identify with so far and am enjoying. When I get home, I'll have to share my previous two reads. I've been very fortunate that people have shared their books with me, so I'm glad to pay it forward. Be on the lookout for me to offer up Jewel and The Memory Keeper's Daughter.

I drove to Philadelphia to visit my friend on Friday and Saturday, which is always great even when we're just hanging out and running our mouths. I not only got to spend time with the new baby, but also got to go watch the baseball game of her older son. (Little kids playing sports is one of the cutest things ever to me.) Plus, I got a chicken cheesesteak just the way I like it and some water ice. Shoot, I was loving life.

After that, I drove to DE to my aunt's house and hung out with her and my cousin, the big time college graduate as of today. I got a home-cooked meal, in addition to some Red Lobster. I know it's fast-food seafood and all (guess who was a hostess-with-the-mostest in high school), but we don't have a RL near us and BD wouldn't want to go even if we did, so this was kind of a big deal for me. Mmmm, cheddar biscuits. We also did some shopping and talking, catching up on the time we've missed. This was my third trip there in the past 6 weeks or so and I was glad that this time it wasn't for such a sad occasion.

Tonight may be a quiet one for me. I missed the only class at the gym that I wanted to take, but I did perform a gasping, sweaty negotiation ritual run earlier today so I'm good for meeting my activity goal. The rest of the evenings this week look like they'll be full with dinners with friends and hopefully the much-anticipated viewing of The Little Mermaid. I say "hopefully" because Ticketmaster is so not my friend right now.

Never one to relax completely, I signed on to speak to some minority students at my alma mater on Wednesday evening. I guess someone figures that if I could do it, anyone can and I might be able to inspire someone. Honestly, my college years kinda sucked with the whole crappy personal issues, sucking at classes, etc. and I still made it out with a degree on time, so maybe they're on to something. I'm not looking forward to telling them what I do for a living now though. It's not exactly the most inspiring role I've played in my career.

Have I mentioned that the longer I think about it, the more I want to quit my job?

No? Well, it's true.

I don't know if that's possible since we kinda based where we currently live on two salaries, but I am so demoralized it's not even funny. More about that later.

My library time is ticking down so I'm off to find some good eats.

Mother's Day at Central Park

Here are a few photos from Sunday. I love them!

I'm sure more will follow as my friends get everything uploaded. It's great being surrounded by photographers. I wish I could convince them to just follow Playette around full-time.

Playette peeking from around BD's shoulder. She spent most of the weekend riding around in the backpack carrier.

She's obsessed with my teeth.

Cheeese!

My favorite of the bunch. Doesn't he look like such a cool dad here? The huge/tiny contrast is great too.

And because I am hacking (again, some more), they sent me to the doctor and it looks like I'll probably be off tomorrow. Who does that?! I mean, the job is only two weeks long and I have to take sick leave? I feel like such a wuss, but, hey, I guess they don't want to chance me getting them sick so I understand.

Heads Up

I don't really have access to email right now. So, if you're trying to reach me and I seem non-responsive, that's why. I got the bright idea to come to the library on my lunch break and see if I could do it from here and I can.

Please bear with me as I try to catch up on correspondence.

Today is another beautiful day in? on Long Island. For all of my independently wealthy multi-millionaire friends hahahahahahaha, I highly recommend the real estate here. Kings Point is absolutely gorgeous and I can't even get over it right now.

That last statement has me feeling like such an old lady. I really sound like one, don't I?

Anyway, so I not only don't have access to hotmail, but I also lost the computer I was using in the office since the guy whose desk I had for the last two days decided to come back from vacation. Boo on him. For realz.

I received a ridiculously tedious task today that may very well take me until the day I leave to complete. But that's why I'm here, right? So help I shall. I really can't complain except about how uncomfortable my uniform is, except that's no one's fault but my own. And maybe Playette's. And BD's. And my former job's. And any other entity I can pass the buck to.

Oh! On that note, I tried a Zumba class at the gym last night. hahahahahahaha It was kinda fun and the time went fast, which is a great combination, but did I ever feel uncoordinated?! I might give it another try tonight since I have a 1 week pass to the gym across the street from my hotel.

Lemme know if you have done/currently take Zumba classes. Do you like it? Does it get easier?

One last thing. Today as I was sitting with my tedious task, one of the younger reservists that's also here came in to ask the admin assistant a question. He prefaced it by saying, "We must be r*tarded, but..." Ugh. Ok. What to do? He was talking about stamping some envelopes and clearly meant that it was a task that anyone should be able to do and he couldn't. So I said, "I'm sure a r*tarded person could do that." He just looked at me with the "huh?" look so I elaborated. It took me a minute to decide if I should or not, but I did. It's still so very uncomfortable for me to do so, but I didn't want him to walk away thinking that I was calling him dumb because he couldn't get the stamp to work and I knew it was quite possible that would be what he received from my statement. I told him that my daughter is developmentally disabled and I find that term offensive. He didn't say anything back and I was a little shaky after I did it. But I did it. So there. Gold star and all that.

And then another guy, a former classmate of mine, came in and was telling me how his 3 month old is 18 lbs. Good grief. I'm not sad about that or anything. It's just a comparison that I'm dealing right now with since he's almost the same size as Playette at almost 2 years old.

Spring in NYC

Ok, this is more like it. Warm, sunny. Oh, I love it.

The place where I'm doing my reserve duty this year is actually the same place I went to college. It's kinda surreal knowing that this year's freshmen could probably not even write in cursive the year I graduated. Geez.

I went for a run walk earlier and I was amazed at how beautiful everything is here. I mean, this town. Whoa. It's full of mansions and perfectly manicured lawns, all close to the water. Plus, it's just a short car/train ride into Manhattan. How did I not appreciate this place when I first began to live here 15 years ago?

Well, today, I started appreciating. I went further down the main road than I ever have before. I would ask what I was doing the four years I went to school here that prevented me from venturing two miles away, but I know the answer to that.

I looked at all the houses. I talked to the guys building the new construction. I sang songs that brought both strange looks and thumbs up my way from the drivers and yard workers, respectively.

And when I got to the end of that road, I cried.

I mean, there I was in this beautiful place and the thoughts started to come. Thoughts of all of the other things I've surely taken for granted. Thoughts of being young again and naive enough to believe that I was invincible. That the undesirable things of my past were behind me and that the world was open for me to live out my wildest dreams. I thought of how I did the "right thing" for so long, but it never really made me happy. Oh, man. It got heavy.

But it didn't last long.

It was an itty-bitty pity party.

Sure I've had more than my share of winters, but spring is here today and I'm going to enjoy it.

Over the weekend, I had a great time with BD and Playette. We arrived very early on Saturday morning and were picked up at the airport by a friend who drove us into Manhattan to our hotel at Herald Square. It was a really nice place, new and clean, just like I like 'em. They even let us check in at 7 am, which was an unexpected treat.

Playette was loving riding in her carseat with our new Travelmate. In fact, whenever we would just be hanging out in the room, she'd climb back in it just to sit. We also found out on this trip that she loves cheesecake, courtesy of her Auntie D.

Saturday was a whirlwind. After we woke up from our naps (red eye flight wore us all out), we went to meet with my aunt who had just come into town for the weekend as well. After socializing for a bit, we left my aunt, cousin (the one that hates me, but whatever), and his girlfriend and went to meet Auntie D, who so graciously offered to take the bus in from DC.

Not long after, the group of us headed over to Staten Island on the ferry for a gathering of friends. It was a lot of fun and Playette was the center of attention, which she loved. Everyone was so excited to meet her.

I had such a good time riding the ferry, the subway, and walking. I miss the city, y'all.

On Sunday, we celebrated my second Mother's Day by having lunch with some more friends (I'm laughing because it sounds like we know so many people...and they all live in NYC. Ha!) followed by a trip to Central Park. We met many of the same friends from the previous day at Bethesda Fountain. Again, it's hard to believe that I lived so close to such a place for so long and never went there. I love it now though. It was a great day of listening to music, checking out street performers, eating snacks, taking pictures, people watching, and talking. Playette loved the jazz band best, I think. There were so many pictures taken and I'll surely share some when I can.

That night, BD and I went to the finale party for The Amazing Race while Auntie D enjoyed some alone time with Playette. Yay for the grown-ups! We've been lacking in the "time alone" department lately due to the (hopefully temporary) loss of respite with Ms. J..

It ended up being a very long night for me since I had to report to reserve duty at 8am Monday and still needed to pick up my rental car from the airport and check into my hotel after the party ended, but it all worked out.

I even got to go back into the city for a fantastic dinner last night. If you know Top Chef, it's Harold's restaurant. I still have goosebumps from the desserts and I only had tastes from other people's plates!

BD and Playette are now back in Cali and I'm hoping to make the best out of the time that I have. I could have left work long ago, but I couldn't resist my last day of access to this computer.

And those are my notes.

Countdown to home: 10 days